I hated the world. There was so much systemic racism and injustice. It was as if it didn't matter how far we progressed into the future, the Chuds would always hold us back.
Those recessive Chuds would always do their best to hold us back. They would never allow us to reach racial equity. The thought of losing their privilege and status made those Chuds squirm.
I was a good person, a straight white ally of the LGBTQ+ and the Black COMMUNITY.
I had written many things about those Chuds online and BTFOed those cucks in many online arguments. Those small brained Chuds didn't have a chance.
...
This is my story, of how I, a big brained white ally defeated the Chuds once and for all.
It was raining heavy when it happened. A torrent had opened up from the sky, soaking me through and through. And that's when it happened. A book fell from the sky. It was the Handbook of Hate Memes.
I thought it was a joke at first. Some high school prank. The book claimed to be able to Meme people to death. It had four rules.
- The Chud whose name is memed into this handbook shall die.
- This note will not take effect unless the writer has the Chud's face in their mind when writing his/her name. Therefore, Chuds sharing the same name will not be affected.
- If the cause of meme is written within the next 40 seconds of writing the Chud's name, it will be memed.
- If the cause of meme is not specified, the Chud will simply die of a poop attack.
When I got back home I took off my wet clothes, and threw the Handbook of Hate Memes down. It was obviously a joke. As if something so powerful would just fall from the skies and land in my possession.
I sat down on my fair-trade sofa and turned on the television. It was always the same. Shows aimed at intellectually deficient Chuds.
Where was the black female representation? Where was the trans folk? Did they not exist? It was genocide. Systemic genocide. White supremacy had never been so blatant. All those poor minorities being oppressed. And here I was, a white man enjoying all the comforts being a white man brings you. I always thought about my LGBTQ+ and POCs because I was a good person, I was woke to their suffering.
"Fuck it!" I said as I picked up the Handbook of Hate Memes and began drawing a meme totally BTFOing some Chuds I knew.
I threw the book down somewhat relieved by all it all, even though I didn't believe it.
I had almost forgot about it until I saw on the News that all the Chuds had died from eating horse medicine. I had totally BTFOed them. The Handbook of Hate Memes was real! And so began my rain of terror against the Chuds. I began taking them out, letting their death by poop attack be the cause, so they would know that there was someone systematically hunting down these Chuds like they had systemically hunted down the POCs, LGBTQ+, and all the Refugees!
Shout out to my LatinX!
...
Years went by and I began to run out of Chuds so I just began killing off Chudish whites. The whites were always the problem. Even if they were the good ones that wouldn't mean that their evil genetics wouldn't spring up again later down the line. We had to massacre them.
It was some sort of formation process, but we all got together and hunted the rest of the Chuds.
We called it day of the rope. I had never revealed my secret of the Handbook of Hate Memes to anyone. It was my job as a white ally to prop up the POC, LGBTQP+, and Refugees.
I laughed giddily amongst my minorities comrades, who were now a majority amongst the remainder of us white allies. Fuck white people. Now we could have racial equity.
"Fuck white people!" I shouted as the Chuds began to choke.
Watching them hang was the taste of sweet honey. Some of the POCs pissed on them while they were still alive, jerking about.
Justice had been served
"Fuck white people!" Everyone screamed.
Before long I found myself being carried. They were taking down corpses and preparing the nooses for fresh hangings.
"I understand, We all have to be removed..." I tried to empathetically say to my fellow POCs, as they choked me with the noose.
I tried not to struggle, and to make eye contact with them, letting them know I understood. But they looked at me with such scorn, spitting on my face.
Of course! I a cis normative male would never know their struggle or what they went through.
As I began to black out, I could feel a tingling session on my numb jerking feet. The POCs were pissing on me.
"But I'm on your side!" I exhaled my final breath.
The End
@RiskDebonair
Irish Writer, Poet & Satirist