In all honesty, I miss DJing.
Over the course of the full 12 years, there were a lot of ups & downs. It wasn’t all as illustrious as many might think. The peak periods were probably far shorter than those of true satisfaction with the craft.
In particular, though, I miss DJing in Bali.
It’s tough to say whether it was living the dream itself that was most satisfying - or the accomplishment of the dream. Either way, there were moments beyond description that infused my soul with such immense awe, there’s doubt they’ll ever be matched.
Having set out to land residencies at Rock Bar & Ku De Ta - the latter of which never panned out - and actually find myself in the reality...
There were moments, in the cliffside DJ booth at Rock Bar, overlooking the waves rolling in during sunset, casting a soundtrack so fitting that the whole thing felt like a surreal multi-dimensional movie...
The vibration.
Like pure, clean-cut, divine magnificence. And that doesn’t even scratch the surface.
Or even after I did my rounds at a number of stunning beachfront venues and ended up playing weddings...
Working in tandem most of the gigs with one of the most solid, warm, genuine men I’ve ever known and a sister-duo of organizers that were so amazing...
Certain moments, set in the most gorgeous luxury villas, crafting sonic-alchemical blends that set an atmosphere so otherworldly, it was like the most charming, soothing dream.
(I guess that’s a Neptune-MC and Neptune-square-AC astrocartography setup for ya.)
Having left that life all behind, I find myself back in the homeland of Canada, nearly four years later... seeking out what minute tastes of that same dreaminess could possibly be had here, escaping to the mountains for the summer...
In the charming town of Fernie, at Luchadora Burrito Co.... a tune plays.
I’d heard it before, though couldn’t recall which it was offhand. A few songs later, with the same artist, I lock in on his name - Masego - and search for lyrics with “Indian,” a keyword in the chorus. Bam. Navajo.
And here, hours later, I’m listening to the song on repeat, having listened back-to-back at least three dozen times. Each time, the depth of soul in it, penetrating deeper into my core, evoking yet more layers of emotion buried as I tried putting my love of DJing behind me.
Sitting in my car at the campground, a half-drank growler of a local “Hit The Deck” Hazy IPA by my side, each play through this track breaks down my defences, bringing me closer & closer to tears.
The sheer wonder of the bass sample, the rich body in the melody, the precision of articulation in certain syllables, the haunting pitched-up vocal samples and sultry harmonies... the absolute mastery of this work, all of it coming together like something almost-ceremonial with the way it evokes such a rarely-powerful response...
It’s probably a bi-yearly occasion when a song captures me enough to keep it on repeat. But there’s something different here this time.
(What the fuck is in my astrology today?)
Maybe I ought to reopen my mind to the possibility of DJing again. Not that it’s been totally closed. But it hasn’t been on the radar.
This/next time... purely for the passion.
Which is back where it all started, perfectly.
And then as I transitioned into doing it for money, things changed. Two rounds through that cycle. So perhaps no wonder I ended up content to leave it behind.... perhaps it wasn’t DJing itself that I grew tired of, but the situations in which my relationship with it took a course motivated by survival needs over pure love that shifted my feelings toward it.
I don’t know what it’d look like, getting back into it. What country/countries, venues, scenes. It surely ain’t here in Canada.
Yet the way this Navajo song is hitting me today... my God.
(One of my biggest secret hopes with music production is that someday, someone will be moved and inspired in such a similar way - listening to one of my works on repeat, senses attuned to the smallest soul-filled details, broken open into an excavation of emotions nothing else was able to touch in such a deep, intimate, inexplainable way.)
The more I lose myself in the blend of music and tears, the less able I am to locate their source...
Is it an expanded sensory experience of the captivating musical art piece triggering such emotion? The flashbacks it causes, bringing me back to the immense passion that drove me for over a decade to the other side of the world in pursuit of a dream I left behind for another dream that totally didn’t work out as planned? Yet deeper layers weaved with the threads of those two dimensions? All of this, combined in with the reflections offered in both the lyrics and musical tone speaking to that of a foreign love lost?
Each playback of this song, peeling back another layer under which more tears were stored...what pure magic, music can be.
And what a magical potion, this mountainous brew, with its profound capabilities of releasing the inhibitions to confront what would’ve most likely otherwise been yet further repressed via distraction into some mechanical routine, disconnected from such pure, simple joys.
And how foolish to forget.
To have ever questioned, biting at the temptation to even consider there could be any truth in such short-sighted self-righteous new-age bullshit condemning alcohol as some sort of evil - knowing full-well the immense amount of innocent, warm-hearted enjoyment that comes in its responsible enjoyment in combination with music - having witnessed it first-hand thousands of times as setting the soundtrack for countless people letting loose in their celebrations of life.
Yes, I miss aspects of my old life.
Though perhaps it’s necessary to balance out with gratitude for such one ya and these in the one I’m presently living - equally as rich, though perhaps in different shades.
What shall be painted in the future lives? Maybe only time shall tell.
Though without question, music shall undoubtedly play its key role - DJing or not.
Just as some finely brewed & distilled beer, wine, and spirits shall play theirs. (Minus the periods pre and post ayahuasca ceremony).
Blah, blah, blah.
Once again, Navajo...
Should it touch something in you even a small fraction of how impactfully it did me, may you be blessed - the sensory journey carrying you to a higher state at which you are even one step closer to living whatever dreams may be calling your soul... 🙏💖
