If I go to pass tomorrow, my daughter will never really recognize me. His memories have faded and what may be clear to him today will gradually disappear. Losing a young parent is not uncommon and can happen in a variety of ways but children grow up and inevitably raise questions. The “where did I come from” curiosity becomes a physical past and tries to understand their world and the challenges they may face. And understand why they think or feel a certain way or why they can’t or can’t do certain things. Admit it or not, we are all involved in the past. Even if it is by our genetics.
I was reminded of some of my old posts today where I talked about my daughter as I do in many. One of these, especially for him, is the endless conversation and this conversation will continue and will continue until the day of my death. For me, the use of Hive is a matter of remembering my thoughts, pieces of my commitment to the blockchain so that the inevitable comes soon. There is a chance that my daughter may have some questions. There is an opportunity to answer.
Who was my father, how was he, am I like him?
My wife and family will try to answer. But they will not be able to present themselves like me, they will carry their love for him and protect him. Or choose certain moments in life that were important to them in describing certain aspects. Who am I to help her deal with her challenges or harm her? Knowing where we come from has clarified aspects of our lives that might otherwise be hard to discover. Little ID syncresences or perhaps. A whole way of thinking can be influenced by our past. Explaining them can both protect us and bring confidence. Helps us to align and embrace ourselves and perhaps empower us to improve our parental flaws. I have a lot of them.
He will be able to troll the posts for a few years. Be able to spend time creating a note here. To see if some events match his memory, but most importantly.
He can discover lost moments that he can ask the living. My daughter and wife will be able to spend time discussing matters with me at home through my words like a personalized book club.
Perhaps it would be surprising to think about it, to think about how those we love can talk about us when we go.
However I feel that I will have a voice about me that is unique to me to give a version for my presentation in the future.
I think I am in harmony with who I am. I have painted a picture of my ups and downs. I have been as honest as I can from my own point of view.
The world of information and continuity is changing. Who we are on earth after we die is no longer tied to the memory of our people. Potential people who never really knew us, there are helpful elements. Social media has encouraged us to divide the world and it is recording everything and while not something as immutable as the blockchain, we need to see it around the world when we die.
Perhaps the most interesting thing is that we encourage ourselves to modify our own lives so that we can promote a version of ourselves that potentially highlights false perspectives, fairy tales and aspirations, moments and identifies people. Our desire to attract strangers is not true. Indicates our presentation to maximize attraction. I find personal branding tedious. Multiple accounts across multiple platforms are looking to increase engagement fatigue. So wherever I am I am just where I am.
I don’t want my daughter to have the wrong view of me. I don’t want to have an unrealistic view of her parents, or blame her life for exacerbating her disability. I want her to realize her reality and be able to connect to what was presented to the real world, see the links and understand why we did best at that time as parents and of course we know without a shadow of a doubt what we do or what I don't. The results were, I always kept him close to my thoughts, always loved him.
I don’t want him to be proud or grateful for me. I don't mind if he blames me.
But I hope that he is an integral part of his past and some aspects of his present will always be influenced by me, he will learn to recognize and understand me. He is not me, who is he?
People look to their pastes for comfort or to discover themselves and this is probably an important process for some to learn from. That they have an agency, they are not tied to their fate because of the parents, there are other ways he and I can share the thoughts that will not need to think about the same things. We share the weaknesses that I have never recognized in myself. She could become a point of strength for him. If he chooses to use them well, empower him as a crutch rather than an excuse rather than a risk.
I can only speak for myself and I can only be proud of the things I have achieved as myself. It’s not something I’m born with or responsible for for some arbitrary reason. I am proud of my writing, not because of the quality or the subject matter, but because I have it in my words. Be it a post, a fiction or an article about economics or education - this is who I represent and it goes beyond the many things that have been given the opportunity, I would like to discuss with my daughter. We want to explore together and see where our minds have come together and separated.
I can’t guarantee that I will have the opportunity to sit down with him and talk to him about the things that matter to me that affect me and spy on my emotions. I cannot promise her that I will always be there for her, that I can always protect her. However, perhaps through all these words he will know that even though I can no longer add to the discussion, I become prompt and through him the endless conversation continues.
Thank you for reading my blog