"some dreams aren't meant for us and that's okay"
Hey guys! If you have read my previous blog posts, you probably know how much I am into make up, not only because it's one of the many ways I earn but also, it is truly my passion. My affair with makeup started when I was 18, as a sophomore in college taking up Hotel and Restaurant Management, I was assigned to do a report about Proper Grooming and Professional Etiquette. A part of the topic was about Basic Makeup for Women in the workplace. As someone who didn't know how to do makeup at that time, I had to rely on the makeup tutorials on Youtube, and what started as a preparation for a report became a hobby.
I spent a lot of time on Youtube back then, I truly enjoyed learning how to do makeup. I still remember buying my first set of makeup products so I'd have something to use to practice with. Later on, my interest in learning makeup led to this urge on doing makeup videos myself, and that's how it started, February of 2016 I uploaded my very first makeup tutorial on my Youtube Channel.
The support I got from my friends was really beyond measure, though I was still a newbie in the Beauty Scene, they made me feel valid and pushed me to do more, and that's exactly what I did. I continued to make more Makeup Tutorials while I was still in college and devoted most of my time in mastering my craft. I started to have people follow me for my makeup videos and I felt like my dream of becoming a renowned Beauty Influencer was slowly coming to reality. I had people come up to me at school or at the mall telling me how they recognize me online and how they're such a huge fan. It truly warms my heart whenever I get to encounter real people who appreciate my content.
As I continued to do videos, my follower count grew slowly over the years. I also got to attend events because of my online presence. It was also easier for me to have Hosting and Makeup Appointments.
When I graduated college, my graduation photo that I posted on my personal Facebook account kinda went viral. I woke up to a thousand of notifications and hundred of messages from people who were moved by my story. That photo garnered about 6.7k likes and 1.8k shares, at that time I thought it'll help make my Youtube Channel skyrocket.
After I graduated, I was on and off on Youtube for I was busy with my Internship and then my first corporate job. As I continued working, I lost my drive. I wasn't enjoying my job and I felt like it isn't healthy for me anymore, so I quit. Looking at it right now, that was such an immature thing to do. If only I continued, then I would've been someone great by now. Anyway, during my hiatus, I spent most of my time focusing on my Youtube Channel, even when I only had 600 subscribers. I don't know what gotten into me that I thought, if I'll devote my time in making videos, I might go viral and maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to grow my channel and monetize off of it.
I posted videos religiously at that time and advertised it on my other social media accounts. I also had the chance to collaborate with another Bisaya Beauty Influencer, Alexis Jordani and I thought that'll help me gather more audience as well. I really gave everything I could, but just like any other humble beginnings, I failed. My channel didn't skyrocket, and I was just left with frustration and disappointment. It's been months since I resigned and I was just at home most of the time struggling to get recognition online when I heard my papa say "If you were really meant to be famous, you would've been already" and that sentence broke me. I thought to myself, maybe he was right, maybe I'm not meant to be doing this. No matter how hard we try, maybe some dreams aren't just meant for us.
So I re-composed myself and stopped dreaming of becoming someone big online. I applied to another corporate job and just focused on my professional growth. I still made Youtube videos here and there but with no longer the intent to be famous, I was just doing it because I missed doing it.
Then fast forward to this year, after coming out as a Trans woman online, I decided to make my first video on Tiktok about being trans, and who would've thought that would re-ignite the fire that I thought I lost. It was a video about the things that you shouldn't ask to a trans woman, and that paved my way into creating content that concerns the trans community.
After that video kinda went viral, I had trans women from all over the Philippines follow me. They thanked me for being their voice and honestly it was such an emotional encounter. I never thought that I'd have that many people send me love and support. As months pass by, I continued speaking up about different issues and through it, I met a lot of influential people on the platform. Some of them I even consider as friends since we talk so often. This gave me a whole new purpose, and I realized, maybe this is why my career on Youtube never took off. Maybe I was meant to inspire people not through makeup, but through words.
Now, I really feel grateful for the community that I have built on the platform. It genuinely inspires me to become a role model for the younger trans community. I find it really moving whenever they would tag me in videos asking about my opinion on something because it just means that they value my stance and that they consider me as their Ate whenever they feel like the community is being oppressed. The relationship I have with them is extremely beautiful and it continues to strengthen my drive to make more videos that promote equality, inclusivity and understanding.
I now have over 10,000 followers on Tiktok and that may seem small for some people, but for me, it's really something worth celebrating. Imagine being in a room with 10,000 people that support you, I would be truly out of words. I am really proud of how far I've become, from someone who doubted her potential to now inspiring people to embrace theirs.
So what do I want people to learn from this post? Well it's for them to be easy on themselves. It's not all the time that what we want will be given to us even when we worked hard for it, but that doesn't mean that you're a failure nor are you incompetent. I believe it's because sometimes, we are meant for more meaningful things. We can change the medium of how we want to succeed but never the purpose of why we do what we do.
So let us continue dreaming 🤍✨
Hi guys, welcome to my channel, this is Sway! Oh I mean my corner here in Hive.🤗
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