To be used by someone is one of those fears that keep people away from relationships. He used her and dumped her. She used him and dumped him. For that reason, he or she is a bad person.
I was reading a book by Jordan Person, Maps of Meaning where he talked a lot about some psychological concepts. He is one of my favorite psychoanalysts. He discussed in this book how humans perceive things and how we grow to form those perceptions. He also discussed some of the failures of artificial intelligence as regards robots with perception.
He explained that those who were working on this technology hadn't found a solution to understanding physical entities. Like a cup. A cup from its side looks like a segmented circle or an untruncated triangle and depending on what side you are looking from, you might see the handle and the handle looks like a "U" or a rectangle by the side. However, if you look at it from the top, It looks like a circle. But these are not the only angles you can see a cup from. Then there is the issue of lighting and variability of different types of cups that make the perception of what it is on an objective level...meaningless.
But babies when they see a cup, they study it. They study its usefulness. That's why you might see a child filling an expensive antique mug up with sand. Because that is the use he or she has associated with the object.
It is the same thing with people. When a child understands who his mother is, it is on the level of use. The caregiver or the one who listens and we in that sense "use her" for what she is for. To care for us. The baby cries and associates his sounds with the care that is received. That is why I think when a baby is crying and hears a sound that is different from his cry he stops because not only is it new...he is not sure it will get him the same results he has been getting.
I hope in this post I have been able to convenience you that we all have a tendency to use. And in fact, we all have used someone or something at some point.
I will continue next week. Till then Be amazing!!
