Introduction
Human beings have always been in search of successful interpersonal relationships, as one of the fundamental keys to achieving success both on a personal and business level.
In this sense, there is a great amount of bibliographic material related to the subject, but in this opportunity I refer to a text recommended by a person who has earned all my respect and admiration, it is the book entitled: "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie, which reached more than 15 million copies sold worldwide and that despite being a book originally published in 1936, even after 84 years of its publication, it is considered and sought as the ideal manual or guide to achieve success in interpersonal relationships.
Synopsis
Dale Carnegie uses in each of the structured chapters in his book, the stories narrated by the participants in his courses and self-help conferences held during the years prior to writing this book, where he exemplifies each of the points to be studied, thus facilitating their reading and understanding for the reader.
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" is a text whose reading is fundamental for those who are interested in achieving success in their interpersonal relationships, whose author Dale Carnegie (Missouri, 1888 - New York, 1955) has been considered the pioneer or even the guru in the genre of self-help oriented texts.
It is structured in four parts subdivided in chapters that are interrelated, where it is shown the information obtained from the research carried out during years to characters and world figures that succeeded in their lives.
How to deal with other people?
All of us at some point have asked ourselves this question. In this book we are presented with the fundamental techniques for dealing with others, through the narrative of the three chapters that make up the first part of the text. Among the techniques presented, "do not criticize, condemn, or complain" is considered a neuralgic aspect, particularly this rule raised by the author is very important, because if we analyze it carefully I dare to say "how uncomfortable and annoying it can be a person who maintains this position in life," which brings as a consequence that other people move away.
"Fighting never gets you enough, but giving in gets you more than you expect."Source
In this sense, the author states that one of the main advantages of reading this book is the very fact of learning to think from the other person's point of view, one of the quotes made in this chapter that I found very important to highlight is that of Owen D. Young:
"The man who can put himself in the place of others, who can understand the workings of another's mind, need not worry about the future."
How to please others?
Throughout six chapters the author analyzes in detail six fundamental rules for us to be pleasant to other people, clearly this is not magic, the application of these rules are based on basic principles that the author considered at the time, but that depends on many external and internal factors of each individual.
The application of rules as logical as smiling to achieve a good impression to those people who do not know us, but that often by our day to day or by diverse personal reasons we forget the importance of a smile, is translated in a bad interpretation of which we want to transmit or of which really we are.
Also, how many times has it happened that you have forgotten the name of an acquaintance or even a colleague, because that "small" detail can make a big difference and can bring undesirable results or consequences.
However, one of the rules established by Carnegie is the recognition of achievements, to recognize and let the other person know what he has done well, not only can one exalt the mistakes of other people, nobody likes that, in fact one of the recommendations given by the author is that when one tells a person something bad that he did, to begin by saying first the good, even exalting it and then one tells him the bad or the mistake, it turns out to be less unpleasant this way, which certainly I share that it is.
On the other hand, one of the practices indicated in this part is to know how to listen to people, definitely this recommendation is a neuralgic point to get others to like you, who does not like to be listened to carefully? Nobody, right? Well, we all look for someone who wants to listen to us and even exchange ideas about what we are talking about, but under the premise that we are listened to, this rule is definitely very important to fulfill if we want to achieve success in our interpersonal relationships.
"You can make more friends in two months if you're interested in each other..."Source
How to make others think like us?
Surely when you read this question, many alternatives came to your mind or perhaps more skepticism about the possibility that it is possible to get other people to think like us, the answer is posed in the text that can be achieved through the implementation of twelve rules, whose premise is to accept our mistakes and respect for others.
In Venezuela, there is a statement that is often referred to by our parents as advice to avoid arguments between couples: "for an argument to take place, there must be at least two people", otherwise it is impossible. This statement reaffirms the first rule of the third part of the book, as well as the basis to avoid the failure of any difference that may exist between two or more people.
It is important to emphasize that the basis for attracting other people to our proposals is respect for the opinions of others, friendly treatment, listening to their proposals and trying to see the approaches from the perspective of the other person, all these aspects are essential to make other people feel good and respected, which translates into a more appropriate environment in the environment of the agreements to be reached, even more favorable to induce acceptance of what we propose.
Which person is going to reject a proposal? If it is treated with respect and kindness, and in addition the other person accepts from the start if he or she has made a mistake and also handles the situation in such a way as to make it appear that the idea was his or hers, even if it is not. This is part of the key to achieve what we want.
How to change others? And how do you become a leader?
The answers to these two questions, Dale Carnegie presents us with nine rules to answer and change people, this based on the premise of highlighting what is right, change the orders for proposals or invitation to do something and praise what is done well.
Everything that is proposed must be practiced spontaneously and sincerely, making it part of a new way of thinking or acting, which will translate into the achievement of what we propose, in an easy way and making other people feel comfortable with what they do and make their best effort to improve and correct their mistakes.
If we manage to apply these rules and make them part of our daily way of acting, there is a great chance that we will achieve a change in people's attitude, this will of course depend on many factors.
Reflections by way of conclusions
This book is more than a guide to achieve success in interpersonal relationships, I dare to consider that it should be read as a manual and with the conviction of being able to assume the challenge proposed in each part that makes it up.
Also, success will depend not only on the implementation of each of the suggestions but also on various internal factors and the environment of each person that can influence in many ways the response and acceptance of what is proposed.
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