Flashback Spring 2023.
I've freshly arrived to Woodenbridge and a shared cabin in the woods. As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression and had just been through a traumatic relationship experience, my bell was pretty rung.
I got triggered and had a terrible night.
I was in such despair and didn't have service to call the help line even.
So I rolled over to my headphones and I recorded this song as I wept.
It's called '3am Sadness' ---
TW- Crying, swearing, etc. But I promise you. It's hopeful at the end.
Here's the link to listen: https://on.soundcloud.com/DkhqQ
Now, I was gonna put this album on the album 'Celtic Knots', but then changed my mind because it felt too vulnerable.
Still, the song wanted to be witnessed. It wants to be heard.
So I wrote my followers on Bandcamp, who by the way I love so much. Like I just wanna give and give and give to them because they gave a shit enough to pay even a dollar for my music.
Join the Crew on BandCamp--- www.emilyra.bandcamp.com
So yeah, I wrote my followers and was like, 'hey. what do you think? should i release this? is it too vulnerable?'
And one of my followers and frens Ziggydayz writes me and he says:
'I'm putting on an event in LA and we're gonna be featuring this cool organization called Musicares that supports artists with grants and resources especially those who struggle with mental health challenges. I wonder if they'd like the song and also possibly have resources for you!'
WHAT???!!! AMAZING!!!
So yep. I applied for a 1k grant yesterday from Musiccares yesterday!
Fingers crossed I'll earn it and be able to pay my rent these next few months while I work hard to organize several community events here in the Pacific Northwest.
AND I sent them the song and maybe just maybe it can be donated to help raise funds for others who struggle and need support to just be free to be on the artistic spectrum.
Even if I don't get the grant, I feel the magick of this song, and of music, and the way that it continues to inspire and save me through service, development of skills, and building meaningful relationships.
Bless it.
Music is Medicine
