I woke up today with two options. To either mourn or celebrate. Today is exactly a year since we buried my elder sister and tomorrow is my elder brother’s birthday. I never paid attention to the emptiness death brings until I lost my elder sister. They say time heals but trust me it’s a lie. Time doesn’t heal anything, you rather just get used to whatever happened with time. It became more painful when I realized I wasn’t going to see her ever again on this earth. At a point, I didn’t even see the importance of anything if we were just living to die. I’m not a melancholic so enough about being a pessimist.
Anyway, I chose celebration instead. Maame is gone and no amount of tears can bring her back. No amount of being sad or moodiness can resurrect her. On the other hand, my brother enters a new age tomorrow. You know what they say? Once there is life, there is hope. So why not celebrate life rather. If there’s anything I know with my full chest, I know Maame would want us to be happy. She would hate to see us still sad over her demise.
Most people see me to be energetic, hyper, name them. I’m not denying any of that but sometimes it’s either that or I become sad over certain things. Tell me what you would choose if you were in my shoes.
Now let me tell you this. I didn’t get the chance to shower my elder sister all the gifts that I would have loved her to have but guess what? I have the chance to do that for my other siblings and my parents.
I didn’t get the chance to spend so much time with my elder sister but guess what? I have the chance to spend whatever time I have in this world with my siblings and my parents. I could go on and on but my point is that the reason why I wake up and choose to be happy and stay on my grind is because of my family. I have other reasons but they are the main reason why I keep wake up and keep on going.
Oh right, my future kids too. I want nothing but the best especially education for those baby girls( yes I want girls and maybe a boy). It makes me excited to see really cute kids that have everything provided for them.Talk of going on vacation and other things. I’m not saying I’m going to raise spoiled kids but I definitely don’t want them to suffer unnecessary things like I did. Most importantly, I don’t want my child to come and say “mummy the remote where is she?” and disgrace me around visitors so I better be ready to pay the price.
Oh and of course, the main goal is to be able to support any another person around me without experiencing any form of loss or having to think twice. So I’m going to keep on working hard.
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