There should be a study on how many divorced people are happy to be divorced before, during and right after it happened. All the news we read and hear are just how painful and terrible it is and yet people still go through with it.
Unfortunately the controversial Absolute Divorce Law has just been passed in our country (for final reading). Sad but even in a majorly Catholic country it's finally back. The last nation without it (aside from Vatican City) has fallen. Oh what a big change for marriage now as compared to our nation's distant past.
And so after seeing HiveGhana's writing prompt on marriage and change topic, I decided to join and write this. I'm not from there but hey this topic is universal.
The first time divorce appeared in the Philippines was because the Americans brought it here. Being mostly Protestants and citizens not having a choice because we were sold to them, of course they would impose such practices to a Catholic country. Lamentable but such is what humanity does which the devil enjoys. What's new? 😂
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Nothing is New Under the Sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9)
It seems like not a lot of people know divorce has existed for a long long time. Any Bible reader will tell you to check on Deuteronomy and find out about what Moses said about it. (circa 1406 BC) It is quoted or referenced by the Pharisees and Jesus in Matthew 19:1-12 & Mark 10:1-12.
Jesus Christ never advocated divorce. Such a thing already existed during His time on Earth and what did He say about it? He clearly stated that due to the hardheadedness/hardheartedness of humanity such is still happening. It is made and insisted upon by man and not agreed upon by God at all. And yet even until today we see many Christians prefer such a thing which the Lord commanded not to do (adultery).
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Why Marriage Problems are Prevalent Then and Now
A bit of history
Seasons come and go, generations forget the past and don't learn from history. How indeed can we capture the essence of marriage's transformation and its influence on couples today? If we go by the current generation (Millennial, Gen Z and onwards) as opposed to the Baby Boomers and beyond, there is definitely a big difference.
During the time of our grandparents and their parents, divorce in the country never existed. Most people stay married until death. Of course there were unhappy marriages for sure. There are many tales of illegitimate children due to abuse and/or extramarital affairs despite divorce not being prevalent. This is to be expected especially when people don't really care about religion and God.
Despite that, of course there were married couples who were also self sacrificing for the sake of their family. Back then people were more religious, most likely from the 17th to the 19th Century, before Spain sold the Philippines to America. Going further back, of course it was also prevalent in Europe and the Middle East before the many schisms in Catholicism. Kudos to those who never cheat on their spouse and treat each other well. There will always be people who truly love their spouse no matter the place and time.
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Other countries with divorce have long had news about all the heartbreak and mental anguish it causes. Of course it never creates stronger bonds in people, how can it when once divorced they will keep doing it!
Look at Hollywood celebrities who keep divorcing spouses. All that money and yet can't save their marriages? Come on. It only shows how divorce is not the right solution! Definitely they are not good influences to everyone, especially married couples and those planning to get married. It only provides such a negative impact on communities actually. Been going on for centuries and alas it is back in our nation.
That's why these days a greater number of Filipinos prefer divorce because they see so many people (in other countries) doing it. That's the problem with going with the flow. Despite knowing an action is wrong but because many people do it, they think it is already the right thing to do. Tsk tsk.
In terms of religion, let me share the root cause of divorce, annulment and separations:
I say being lukewarm and cold in the faith are the main reasons why people always have problems with each other. How do I know this? Of course I've been one since baptism! 😂 It was only last year that I decided to change my life and get closer to God. (The Lord definitely moves in mysterious ways!)
When we don't care about nor follow God's commandments why would we treat other people well? All we would think about is ourselves. "Money, money, money," plus "what's in it for me?" And that's normal because of the Original Sin. (No thanks to the devil ft. Adam and Eve.)
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Tell me who are the people who aren't selfish except those who truly and willingly follow the Lord's 10 commandments + Love of God and others? Okay fine, we know our parents became selfless when we were born. When people become parents most of them prioritize the kids first before themselves, sacrificing everything for the sake of their offspring. However that is not true for everyone. Not all parents care for their kids. Look at how many of the youth end up homeless or delinquent. And what's to blame for such a turnout? Again, selfishness and having no love for others.
Yes yes we know the Golden Rule exists, even outside of Christianity. Unfortunately it creates vindictive people instead; I've proven and tested it for years.
Which is why the fear of the Lord is a good start to treat people better. It's as simple as that. On another note, look at Saudi Arabia, there aren't many thieves there right? Why? Everybody is afraid to lose their hands. Many people use fear to keep people disciplined, for sure even in a typical workplace you have experienced that. This is why self-discipline because of love (of God and others) is harder for everyone.
If other religions have karma, Christianity has God who avenges His people. God is full of mercy and love that we have all become spoiled and abusive! This is why only the true followers of Christ turn the other cheek.
Some of the images of saints that I have at home.
If you read the lives and writings of saints, they do not fight with other people at all. In their lifetime, the saints spread love / charity instead of hate / selfishness! Men and women feel the love of God from them, this is why many people flock to such holy people.
Just like Jesus, the sanctified men and women of God are selfless, loving and generous towards others. This is very hard to do especially when we are not on the road to sanctification. I should know because (1) I was once a follower of the Golden Rule in my youth so was quite vindictive too and (2) eventually my lukewarm to cold faith developed into a scary tendency towards the dark side after the pandemic until I realized it must be stopped!
We keep asking why God allows bad things to happen when out of our free will, suffering is caused by you and me! So why don't we start being a better person for a change?
What causes many of humanity's problems is not accepting God in their lives. Disregarding the teachings of Jesus Christ, the Son of Man & God will cause corruption of the mind and heart. Do not wonder then if you see what's happening in the world today. Evil inclinations stem from not accepting nor following the Lord with all our heart and mind.
Demons have been working 24/7 (since their fall) for our slow and unnoticed descent to hell. Those who don't know nor trust in the Lord and refuse to follow Him and His commandments will surely fall and cause pain and suffering to others. Misery loves company and so divorce is already prevalent worldwide.
Do you want to know how to avoid getting divorced or separated? Stay tuned for my next post! I have created another one because this is getting too long. haha. Meanwhile feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
