Children are blessings no doubt but before they become blessings, they are first parasitic, they are burdens and you spend the best years of your life grooming them to become the future and hope of mankind. So why not equip properly to not loose yourself in the process?
Being a mom is tough and I have always known that, reason why, after my daughter, I told myself we will not be going down the road unless the condition improves.
I see a lot of women in my environment struggle with multiple children, and trust me I didn't want that to be me.
Some will just be giving birth at the same time, complain about how bad and unfair their marriages are, how mean and unsupportive their partners are towards them, how uncaring their partners are and I really do not understand the rationale behind such situations because if a man is not nice to you what are you doing still getting pregnant for him?
Now back to me, after my daughter, I reevaluated my life, what I wanted and saw that I am not mentally or emotionally ready for another one. Having another child now will set me 5 years back because trust me children are full time jobs and it's easier navigating life with one as a career woman.
You will not know how frustrating motherhood is until you get a job. First few years of being a full time mom was a big flex but I was not carried away to rush in for another one because I have seen myself and I know I will not function effectively being a full time mom.
When I eventually started working, I couldn't get it right. I find myself working so hard and not getting the required reward for all my effort.
I couldn't quite place what I was doing wrong till I wrote about the challenges of a career woman and motherhood.
The article was an entry to the Creative Hour prompt that collaborated with Dreemport. In that article, I did a google questionnaire and gave it to some of my friends who are mothers and at the same time career women.
They finished answering and sent it back to me. I went through it and saw that all the answers were similar and also explains perfectly what I was going through.
All 6 women said it's easier being a career woman than being a mom. Moreso, the effort they put into the family unit, if they put it in their career, they would have excelled more than the level they currently are.
But in all, no regrets as they would not give up their family life for anything.
After that exercise I went back to my drawing board and made some changes. The drastic decisions I took was the missing puzzle piece to my dilemma.