Some of the things I’m going to say in this post are going to sound very cliché and cringy, so brace yourself.
If I were to compare a list of things that made me happy months ago to ones that make me happy now, I’d be talking about very different things. A few months ago, I would be talking about more exciting things. But over the course of the past months, there’s been a drastic change in both my definition of happiness and the ease at which I attain happiness. I guess I’ve learnt to find happiness in doing and for doing the most basic and mundane things.
So this is what my happy Hamza list would look like right now if I had one.
Reading
I warned you: Cliché and Cringy.
Anywayyys
I used to tell Olujay somewhere in the beginning of last year that I really wanted to start reading again, but that I wasn’t able to get myself to do it. Recently though, something happened that gave me that small jolt I needed to say fuck it and do it.
So I started reading a personal development book for about 30 minutes every night before I sleep. I’m telling you, it makes me feel almost as good as hitting the gym does. Phenomenal!
It makes me feel a sense of accomplishment and improvement even if for a short while, just before I go to bed. It makes me happy and I look forward to it every night now. In fact, not just reading, but even waking up super early everyday recently has improved how I feel about myself and how my day generally goes.
moving on…
The Weekend
For the first time in a very long time, I counted the days down from Monday to Friday. I haven’t paid much attention to what specific day any day was for a while now except Fridays (and only because Fridays are special for muslims) because I’ve never really had a week tire me out so much that I anticipated the coming of the weekend. Until this week, of course. I’ve had a migraine almost every day of this week because of how stressed I’ve felt this week.
Surprisingly, even though I didn’t even have anything grand planned for the weekend, I still found that going to bed on Friday with the awareness that I had nothing to do the next day made me mellow in a way I haven’t felt since before I went to University. The workload and responsibility have forced me to see and appreciate the essence of weekends again.
Movies
Everyone that knows me well knows that I am a movie person. Well..used to be. I haven’t really had the time to watch movies as much as I used to, or would like to since I left school. It’s one of the things I’m working on in order to be better and happier. The movies help me escape reality for a bit. Allows me lose myself in a world where my problems momentarily disappear, and instead of the constant monologues I have with myself, teleport into the fictional realm of interesting plots.
Money
You knew I’d mention this. Right?
There’s just no way. What I find funny is how money is both one of my greatest sources of happiness and depression at the same time. I find a lot of joy in making and spending money. Regretfully, I have had an unhealthy obsession with making money the past 2 years that has cost me some very dear prices.
Many things make me happy. But recently, my happiness has come from more subtle things, and mostly from me achieving something that affirms I am reconnecting with my old self, understanding myself better and improving everyday as a person.
As I write this, I am happy that I kept my promise to myself that I will write at least two days consecutively. For a start, that’s improvement. Nonetheless, mundane things aside, I still find happiness in usuals like movies, parties and hangouts with friends.
There’s an extra thing I would’ve wanted to add in this post, but that would’ve been about 4 more long paragraphs of writing I wouldn’t want to subject either of us to. Thanks for sticking to the end.