In a conference I attended some years ago, we were asked to share some of our pains that we still held onto, I did, the more I shared the story, the lighter I felt about the grudges I was holding on and gradually I realized how much of a burden I had kept all the years even though my reasons were genuine. I have always seen forgiveness in the biblical viewpoint, and this was crafted out of the Lord's prayer, in the line which says, "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us". Which means forgiving others is a gateway for my forgiveness. So it didn't matter what the offense was, if I needed forgiveness as an imperfect person, I first had to forgive others.
Forgiveness, according to me, is letting go of pain, hurt, and offense with no negative intentions of revenge. It could be seeking peace with all men.
It takes a different level of understanding to be able to forgive an offense especially when we are innocent and didn't deserve what we suffered. Most times we don't, but as long as we live among men, offenses will surely present itself until we are able to overlook the ridicule in everyman's action. The only reason why forgiveness delay is because we expect humans to be perfect in some ways , which is impossible
Forgiveness is a healer of burden. Just like the story I shared earlier.. I held grudges with my dad for a long time, I didn't want anything to do with him since he didn't care about any of us. But this burden was a torment and some I started saying ill things about him. I felt it was natural for every father to love his children, but it was different in our case, no one knew why he behaved the way he did and because we were angry with him, we never prayed for him. In the same conference the teacher helped us understand that we don't forgive others because we want them to be free, but for ourselves as well and this she drew from the Lord's prayer.
We are able to forgive when we understand that we need forgiveness more than we give out. "We are just human" this statement shows our imperfections and why no man is free from mistakes. So forgiveness comes from our state of mind, and portrays our level of understanding. It takes divine ability to understand and is born from love. What I was able to understand about forgiveness is that it creates a space for love to dwell. If we forgive, we sometimes may be able to pray for such individuals, and gradually love grows. And when there's love, it oversees all offenses.