I have really displeased myself several times just to please others. Sometimes I see it as part of my personality, while other times it looks like a weakness to me. Although it's never too late for me to start learning to say "no" to some requests or assistance from some people though it can be challenging. Even though it's crucial for my personal wellbeing, I find it difficult to establish boundaries and say "no" to others. Saying "no" can be particularly challenging because I'm a people-pleaser. I always worried about disappointing or upsetting someone.
However, I have started developing the ability to say "no" because it's crucial to preserving my personal wellbeing and sanity. I have involved myself in many things just to help others, but at the end of everything, my good deeds landed me in trouble.
A friend of mine who was in dire need of money sometime ago met me for a little financial assistance. Though I didn't have the money at that time, I was able to contact one of my cousins in order to get a loan from him. My cousin was able to lend me 15,000 naira, and he gave me 30 days grace to repay him the money.
I gave the money to my friend, and I explained everything to him. He promised to give me the money back before the 30 days elapsed.
He didn't keep his word. The date for me to give my cousin his money back has passed, but my friend wasn't able to come up with the full amount. He brought only half of the money, and when I asked him what the problem was, he boldly told me that he had tried by bringing only half the money, and that money is not easy to get.
I politely explained everything to my cousin, and he told me that he was very disappointed in me. He was able to give me that money, which was meant for his Project work in school, because he trusted me so much not to fail him. I was so heartbroken because it wasn't my intention to betray my cousin's trust in me.
Another incident also happened some time ago. A female friend of mine approached me to help her Factory reset her mobile phone because it was malfunctioning.
I wasn't able to say NO to her because of how close we are and how well we relate. Even though I knew that the phone may cause problems for me, I just said, Let me try.
The phone actually developed another issue after the factory reset. The girl in question refused to help me financially with fixing the phone. I had to use my own money to fix the phone for her, and she didn't even appreciate my good deed.
That actually made me conclude that I must learn to say NO to certain things, even when it will cost me my relationship or friendship with the person.
