Forgiveness sounds simple when people talk about it, but the moment you’re the one who has been hurt, it suddenly becomes one of the hardest decisions to make.
Everyone is a preacher of forgiveness as though it is simple.. they say, Just forgive and move on. But, any one, who experienced the pain, has been sensitive to the fact that it never is that simple. Forgiving is not a light which you can turn on and turn off. It is a negotiating process between the self and the feelings.
I have been able to gather a few moments in my life when I felt that I should forgive another person. And there have been moments, also, when I was too soon forgiving, and made it appear as though I were pampering a person to repeat the vice.
This is where the real question begins... Does one possess the strength to forgive, or can forgiveness be a silent weakness at times?
I have been raised under the perception that it is because I can forgive people, i am perceived as being matured enough. Holding on to anger just pervades the heart. And to some extent, that’s true. Resentment is hard to tote about. It drags you down, twists you and makes you emotionally stuck to something that is in the past.
Forgiveness can be freeing.
Its not a matter of the person who wronged you having a right to it, but because you require it.
However, there is the other side of the story taught by life.
This is what happens when people consider forgiveness as admission.
When you have been continually forgiving someone, you are selflessly risking on being secretly anticipated by others to never be intolerant of whatever they want to do.
And this where forgiveness is misunderstood.
True forgiveness the one I now recognize is not about pretending that the injury was not there. It is not a matter of giving people right to keep on crossing the same line. It is of being a pacifist, not a self-respecter.
One can forgive an individual and at the same time isolate him.
There is no necessity to forgive someone and leave.
In fact, I believe that's where the real power is.
The issue of forgiveness is not about sweetness. It lies in having emotional control not to allow some anger as the common reaction..
Strength also means knowing when to stand-up.
The thing is that, in most cases forgiveness does not include the component of wisdom, it is tolerance. and high-mindedness broadly soon becomes forgetful.
Overtime I have come to understand that forgiveness is not about the other person.
Let me quickly ask, Do you want to live the remaining part of your life feeling bitter? Or would you learn out of the experience and proceed with a knowledge?
Forgiving in silence is Golden.
You don’t announce it. There is even no need to reconcile oneself with the other person. You just simply decide that whatever has happened will not determine your feelings or what awaits you.
This resolution will become your power in its own right.
And forgiveness manly or womanly?
In my opinion, it is not gender based. it is predetermined by its practice.
The real idea here is to forgive and not to lose your worth.
This is because, healing does not imply that the same wound should happen again, It could just be a mere walk in another direction and a choice of peace.