Love or Money?

LOVE OR MONEY?

When I was younger, I’ve always loved going to marriages with my mum. From the spectacle of tradition where the bride dawns her beautiful jewelry, and walks to greet the elders and well wishers, to the musical dance and fun fare, the experience is second to none. One thing I have wondered was why the groom was rich on that day. I mean the amount of food consumed by guests plus the music, damn that must be expensive.

Growing up, I started watching movies. Slowly I became emotional, and started recognizing and appreciating the beauty of girls. I wanted to fall in love like in the Indian movies. It’s a feeling I looked forward to having. To call someone “my love” or “baby” or whatever term there is out there 😀, I just wanted it. I couldn’t wait. I know I am not alone with this feeling.

13 years ago, I mustered confidence, and told that girl that I liked her. It ended fast. Afterwards, I had a lot of relationship, and almost always, I thought I was in love. Mein, I was pretty heartbroken by every one of them. Usually, the relationships lasted at most 6 months each. Was it that I didn’t have money to sustain it or was there no love?

I began to wonder this point after the 4th one. This one was particularly special because I thought she was going to be the one I would settle down with. About 6 months (i.e. my relationship threshold), I told her that I wanted to settle down with her, as in marry her and have kids and stuff. This was via text message. She replied to me with this line “Your love cannot feed me”. I was shattered. For me, it was my most painful breakup line ever. Love or Money? This question lingered on my mind for a while.

I had taken a break from relationship, and focused more on academics which were not necessarily affected by them. I completed university, and became a Professional. I had planned on saving so much that no lady would disrespect my love like this. That planning only took 6 months of saving a not-so-good salary as a bachelor. I met a lady. We became friends for 4 months, fell in love, I proposed, she accepted, and 2 months later, we were preparing to get married.

My childhood experiences of going to marriages was in full circle. I was about to be the subject of discussion, the one whose money they will eat lol. It was not funny. I was scared. The girl’s parents were reasonable with the bride price; a sense of relief! Girls will always be girls. Dresses, decorations, cameramen, food were all on me. I am glad I survived.

So, times have changed, and people have too. So, my dear reader, in my African society, it’s not all traditional practices lol. It’s not enough to love. You’ve got to spend. Girls will even argue that “If he loves you, he will spend on you”. The reverse might not be true but from my experience, money sustains loves.