This topic is a very deep one, still, we will dive in. I have a lot to say about waking up feeling tired and burdened, I have experienced it, I understand what it means to fight your battles silently, while still wearing a smile for the world to see. For years, I lived with an illness, an illness that drained me. The funny part is, you wouldn't even know I was going through anything. It wasn't the visible type; I was going through pain deep inside of me. And most people don't even know I was fighting for my life.
I have days I wanted to give up, I have days I can't even get out of bed without help, I have pains I couldn't even describe with words, I cried to an extent I couldn't cry anymore, and I went through pain to an extent that I see going through pain was the only way to keep surviving. Even I had lost hope in myself, and all prayers seemed unanswered. People most times see me smile, but behind it were my weak moments. What kept me going was the fact that I'm still alive, "when there's life there's hope.." meaning there's still hope for me
Courage is not always about taking bold steps, it's about you refusing to let go or give up on a daily. Even when everything does not look like it, even when you really feel like stopping. Then, I didn't know what route things will take, even my doctor's weren't sure, but somehow, I kept my hope alive and I had faith, and with that, I started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
I just thought it good to share a bit of my story; who knows, it might come in handy and help someone who would come across this. Maybe you are fighting battles too. Mine was sickness; yours might be financial struggles, heartbreak, loneliness... Whatever it is, I want to tell you to not give up. I didn't; that is why I can share my story today. So, the fact that you are still here as well means you are not done; there's still hope. It doesn't rain forever; there's definitely a start/beginning to something, the same way there's an ending day to it. That which you are feeling now will not last forever. Joy comes with the morning, says the Bible. Just see what you are experiencing as a nighttime, and it is a must for every night to give way to a morning; you are almost done with the night period. It's a chapter, and it's not the last chapter. It's almost over.
I won’t pretend or tell you it’s easy. The truth is...it is not easy, not at all. But that state of weakness you are in is the best state to build strength. Most times when we cry, we often wipe our face with determination to try again. Most times when we are being ridiculed, we often feel bad, and at the end we get back up to work towards a personality that will forever be respected. Those times you had cried your way to sleep, those times you had been too weak and just said a few words of prayer, and help came. Those are little ways of you knowing you can overcome whatever. Even though it looks/seems small, they are the proof that you are stronger than your struggles.
I did learn a lot from my illness. I got to know that storms do not last forever and that healing comes in different forms. Back then, I had watched and listened to a lot of sermons, testimonies, and all, and I thought a spiritual being would just show up in my dreams, but that didn't happen. I got scared when some patient did a surgery that wasn't even up to what I was to go through, and they died; some weren't balanced anymore. But I went through it all, one surgery leading to the other, and here I am. A lot of people find it hard to believe I had ever done surgeries, let alone multiple ones.
What I am saying in essence is that healing comes in different forms; it can be physical or emotional. It can even be the peace of knowing you made it through a tough/hard day. And that day would stay with you forever, reminding you to not give up. Keep going, keep enduring; believe me, you will tell the story someday, and you will also be able to encourage someone who's on the verge of giving up/quitting.
You don't have it all figured out...? Keep holding on. You don’t need to smile all the time. You don't need to overstress yourself always. Even if it is little, make sure to keep going forward. Life is definitely not easy, but you are also strong. When that breakthrough finally comes, even you will look back and be thankful you didn't give up; you will look back and see the battle you didn't give up on has made you unshakable, and you will look back and be glad to share your story with someone. Today, I do a lot of these things, some are even anonymous, some to total strangers. I share my story and I encourage, inspire, and motivate people in my own little way.
All pictures are screenshots of my WhatsApp status...
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