There are some moments in life that feel like they were sent straight from the pit of embarrassment. Not the kind of soft embarrassment you can laugh off after a few minutes but the kind that burns into your memory and replays randomly for the rest of your life. That was exactly what happened to me not too long ago at the ATM near my lodge.
It was a Thursday morning and I had just gotten ready for school. I was running a bit late but I still needed to quickly withdraw some money for my photocopies and maybe buy a bottle of chilled Coke and a meat pie. So I grabbed my wallet and walked quickly to the bank’s ATM point that was just beside the junction.
As I approached the place there was a small queue but not too long so I joined with confidence. I plugged in my earphones and started playing music to distract myself while I waited. There were about five people in front of me and they were all collecting their cash without stress. That alone gave me hope. The girl before me removed her card and walked away with a thick wad of cash. I smiled to myself. My own turn had come.
I stepped up to the machine. The sun was already up and my face was sweating slightly. I wiped it with my hand and looked around to be sure nobody suspicious was standing too close. There were two guys behind me, one woman with a nylon bag of fruits and a young lady who looked like she worked in a bank herself from the way she was dressed.
I inserted my card and the screen welcomed me. I typed in my PIN with confidence. Selected withdrawal. Then selected savings account. My hands were moving like I was a boss that knew exactly what he was doing. Then I pressed to withdraw ten thousand naira.
That was the beginning of my disgrace.
As I pressed enter, instead of the usual processing sound that comes with hope and the light green message that says “Please wait while your transaction is being processed,” I heard a loud brrrr sound followed by the biggest slap of shame in the form of an alert message on the screen.
It said Transaction failed. Insufficient funds. And to make it worse the ATM made a loud beep. Not just a small beep oh. A loud one like a failed attempt at launching a rocket.
Before I could even react the woman behind me chuckled and said “Ah ah this one no get money for account sef.” The guy behind her burst into laughter and shouted “Omo the ATM just disgrace this guy anyhow.”
The banker-looking girl behind them raised her eyebrows like she just stepped on something disgusting. “Why will you come and block the machine when you know you don’t have up to ten thousand,” she said as she shook her head.
I tried to keep a straight face and reinserted my card. This time I tried five thousand. The same result. Insufficient funds again. Another loud beep. More laughter.
Now everyone’s attention had turned to me. Even the security guard at the gate had started walking close to the ATM area as if to confirm that I was not trying to commit fraud. I could feel sweat running down my back. I looked at the machine like it had betrayed me personally. I pressed cancel and pulled out my card.
That would have been enough. That shame alone could last a person for a whole week. But life said no.
As I turned around to leave quickly, my phone slipped from my breast pocket and fell to the floor. The battery flew one way. The back cover landed near the girl’s leg. And the phone screen itself bounced once and stopped by the wall.
I bent down fast to pick it up but my bag pulled awkwardly and as I tried to stand up I hit my head lightly on the edge of the ATM stand. I saw small stars. The woman with the fruit bag hissed and said “Na today your village people come back from leave.”
I forced a smile and picked my things. The security man was now standing beside me asking “You don try the other machine? Maybe e go gree.”
I nodded like a child that had just been caught cheating in class. I knew there was nothing inside that account. I had forgotten that my data subscription had been auto renewed the previous night and I was left with around one thousand six hundred naira.
The worst part was that I was wearing a fine white shirt that morning. I had ironed it carefully and sprayed my best perfume. But there I was, standing in front of strangers looking like a broke wannabe who came to show off at the ATM with no money in his account.
I didn’t even bother trying the second machine. I just put the pieces of my phone back together and walked away slowly. I didn’t look back. I didn’t greet anybody. My confidence had evaporated like pure water under hot sun.
As I got to the junction I told myself I would never use that ATM again. Even if they are sharing free money I will not go there.
I still remember everything clearly. And even now when I walk past that spot I feel my stomach tighten a little.
Some people talk about heartbreaks. Me I talk about that day the ATM exposed my account balance to the whole world.
And I still don’t know which pain was worse. The beep that announced insufficient funds or the laughter that followed it.
God abeg🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣