Some years back, my friend told me that her then partner, usually offered her his phone, for her to check if he was cheating. She told me this because she had to started to suspect him, with how often he pressured her to check his phone. She would check but wouldn’t find anything, and life would continue that way. So apparently, the guy’s tactic was to offer her his phone frequently, while he was with her, so she didn’t have any urge to pick up the phone in his absence. And yes, he was a chronic cheat.
When it comes to infidelity, people are usually very careful with their approach. You might come across that thing you’re looking for, then scroll past, not knowing what is going on, or you might go through a partner’s phone in the hopes of finding evidence of infidelity, and you’ll find that every of their conversation with the other gender, starts to resemble that thing you’re looking for. There’s no rule to how these things turn out. It simply depends on the belief you’ve settled for, internally.
There’s no joy in constantly having someone invade your privacy. I would never be comfortable, leaving my phone around someone who was supposed to trust me, knowing that there’s a high tendency of them misunderstanding, and causing me to explain things I have no business explaining.
Just because someone has a high tolerance for your insecurity, doesn’t mean they won’t get fed up after some time. Constantly having to reassure someone that nothing is going on, can be tiring, because if you don’t trust me enough, to respect my privacy, let me go please. I never told you I was a fan of mind-games.
Checking a partner’s phone at this time and age, is very unnecessary. If you start to suspect something is wrong, let things be. Take a walk, do something you love, and continue with your life. The truth will always find its escape route, and trust me, you’ll be amazed at how it came to light.
One thing about relationships, is that the partner you loved 5years ago, isn’t going to be the same person, 5 years later, 10 years and so on. People change overtime. So, the fact that you’ve noticed a change that isn’t a good one, isn’t absurd. At that moment, you just need to be patient and trust the person you are with. If there are things that need to be exposed, they will be. Don’t jeopardize a relationship, simply because you had an opportunity to project insecurity, and took it.
At this time and age, where infidelity seems to be the order of the day, it’s still not okay to feel threatened in a relationship. The moment you realize you feel threatened, and start entertaining the thought that your partner can do or undo at any moment, analyze your feelings. Ask yourself what and what led to you feeling that way. If you think it’s valid, address it with your partner. If you don’t want to, relax. Focus on something else. That way, you get to be at peace.
Thanks for reading.
Images above were taken by me.