Sometimes the qualities that define us are not the omes we wear on our sleeves, but the characteristics that come forth at unexpected times. People simply assume they know who you are, what you’ll do or where your boundaries are until you give them a reason to think they don’t. For my surprise, that side is my instinctive openness to help others, which at times, i do so without thinking. It’s a quality I’m glad to have because it comes from a place of sincere care.
When I see someone who needs help, I give it out without having a second thought about it. It can be providing advice, solving a tough question, or just doing what no one else is willing to, I push past what people expect of me. This often surprises people who think I’m reserved or too calculating. What they don’t know is that I don’t do this for just anybody, i try to be careful with people and so I'm very selective. For the right people, my investment in them is never in vain and my work always pays off.
Yet, I’ve realized the downside of this trait that often appears attractive. Offering your help in spur-of-the-moment situations can make you susceptible to being taken for granted or exploited. However, each time I was met with someone's sense of entitlement a lesson and then set my boundaries.
I help someone not for attention or approval. I help someone because I really want to help him/her. The happiness comes from the knowledge that I’ve done something important for someone who needed it. Balancing compassion with discernment is something that i have learned for myself. And although it may come as a surprise to others when I do something above and beyond, it’s a part of myself that I will always value.
Shout out to HiveGhana for such motivational post prompts for the week! They’ve been a wonderful way to reflect and share substantive thoughts. I am very excited for another in-depth and interesting topics this week.