I was a new tenant in the house. Safe to say I was the newest tenant. Being a new person in the house, I would need help with getting a lot of things around the house and within the community at large. As I was new there, I would need the guidance of the people around, and the best people to help me were my neighbours. There was a super-friendly one among them that I felt comfortable talking to and asking for help, and he provided answers to my neverending questions. However, one thing I was certain of was the fact that I was never going to be close to any of them.
One day, I got a WhatsApp message from my neighbour. We had exchanged contact details the day before and he had texted to ask how I was enjoying my new environment to which I responded, "it's fine for jlnow".
Then, two days later, he sent a text saying, "I want you to work for me cause you've got an accent. I've heard you speak over the phone from my apartment, and I am certain you've got all I needed. Trust me, I'll pay you well".
Okay, I like money too. But, who doesn't? Anyway, I asked him what the job entails, and Point blank, he said "I am a fraud oo, and I need someone to talk to my clients and that's where you come in".
Oh my God! The rush of anger I felt within me was over the roof that if I could, I would reign abuses on him. I found the request so disrespectful for someone like me. But, at the same time, I was calm to respond to him and I calmly declined his request. The more he tried to convince me, the more anger I felt until he pulled his last string. "you know you don't have a job. We can always make money from this".
At that point, I knew I was going to say a lot, but I kept it under control. So, I ignored his messages until two days later when my body was calm enough to not burst into abuses for him. I said, "thanks, but no thanks". And that was it... Or so I thought.
The rejection later led to a lot of actions in the house that hurt me badly, and made my living in the house so unbearable that I had to run away from my rented apartment a countless time. Sometimes, I wanted to burst out, and curse him out, but the form of anger expression that I don't like is the outburst. First, because it is very stressful, and secondly because I get so mentally and physically drained after. Trying to organise myself back and regulating my emotions back to order after the outburst is not something I like to experience, so I hold it in until my body is calm to address the issue, if I can, but most times, I tend not to go back to it because talking about it again self will be stressful.
I've averted many fatal situations because they expected an outburst during the heated moments, but I've disappointed them because I held it in instead. Not because I wasn't angry, but what I quietly do is to analyze the person's thought process in my head and then decide to either respond many days later or keep quiet and distance myself from the person to prevent a repeat.
I'm not short tempered, however, one thing that has worked for me in preventing an outburst during anger is to just walk away from the scene. Possibly, this could be a part of a successful tip for overcoming short temper for people with that particular problem.
All images are mine.