“Hello Yhukay girl, please… how do I learn to be a wicked person?” Someone asked me the above question a few days ago. It sounds evil right?🤔🤔 Good! But the truth is I was not shocked by the question, not because I am evil too but because I understood exactly what he meant. He was not asking me how to hurt people but he was asking how to stop hurting himself. I had a good laugh😃😃 after I heard the question, not because I just wanted to laugh but because his face was a clear picture of someone who is tired, hurt and needs help but do not know how to get it.
This is the story of many people with very good hearts. They are kind, generous and always available even when it costs them peace, time and emotional energy. They give, they bend, they sacrifice and in return, some people take advantage of that kindness and try to override them.🤦🤦 Such audacity😎Not because they are weak but because they do not know how to say no without feeling guilty.
If you are on this table, come closer let me share something with you. Many of you were taught that saying no makes you rude, selfish, or unkind. But that might be a lie if you allow me explain. So, you say yes when you are exhausted, you show up even when you are drained, you explain yourself over and over just to avoid disappointing people etc. hmmm.🤦 The truth is, your inability to say no does not make you kind rather, it makes you overwhelmed.🤦 And any act of kindness that destroys you is not kindness at all.🤷♀️
Now, let us talk about what saying no really means and why it is not wickedness, but wisdom because Boundaries Are Not Wickedness
Let us clear something up. Saying no to people’s excessive demands does not make you rude. It means you have finally realized something important, which is the fact that your energy is not infinite. You can be kind and still have boundaries. You can love people and still protect your peace. You can help without abandoning yourself. So, boundaries are not punishment, but they are instructions on how you deserve to be treated. Always remember that when you say no, you are not rejecting the person. You are only respecting yourself. And yes, it may feel uncomfortable at first. Guilt often shows up when you begin doing what you were never allowed to do before but in all, choose yourself.
So, the next time you feel guilty after saying no, pause and remind yourself that you are not selfish you are only learning self-respect. You do not need to become “wicked” to survive, you just need boundaries.
Always Choose yourself
Have you ever felt guilty after saying no, or ever regret saying yes
What was the experience and how did you overcome it