A blind date ordeal. Neoxian prompt #26.

When I saw the prompt for this month, I couldn't help but laugh out loud because it brought back a very funny memory which I will be sharing with you all.

I have heard of the concept of blind dates and even seen movies about it but still I dived my full self into it after much pressure from my friend who couldn't wait to pin me to one guy because of jollof rice and aso-ebi😁.

I didn't use any online dating site to get a blind date. Isioma my friend and roommate linked me up with a guy from her church. I felt that since the guy was known to her then he must be a manly and understanding person but my oh my, was I wrong.

I gave Isioma the go ahead to connect us and she did so by giving him my contact info while I received his and saved it on my phone. I got to know his name was Desmond from her. I should have known there was going to be a problem when I got a WhatsApp message from him the next daybwith the words …”Hello sweet angel. Hope you slept well. I miss you and can't wait to have you…love Desmond”.

”Ah!” ” What is this bayi!” I was irritated by the choice of words in the message but since I didn't want to spoil his ”steeze”, I let it slide but in my heart, I knew that he had lost ten points already.

My irritation led me to speed up our meeting and after a week of receiving several obnoxious messages from him, I finally agreed to go on a date with him.

To be safe, I picked an eatery that was interim (*not too far or too close). We agreed on a time and all was set for the date. I told my friend Isioma of his messages and all she said was ” Is it not because he is romantic and wants to show it to you.”

”Really, you call a guy referring to someone he has not seen before as angel, sweetheart and darling, as a romantic?”

”Come o, is your head correct at all?” I asked but she only chuckled and walked away. ”Since it has come to this, let me see if he can be salvaged” I thought as I prepared myself for the date.

At 4pm that fateful day, I boarded a bus and went to the eatery as agreed. I wanted to arrive on time so that I could at least see him come in. I already had a clue of what he looked like from his Whatsapp display picture. So sighting him won't be difficult.

I chose a table at the extreme end of the eatery, sat down and began to wait for ”Mr romantic” to arrive. My wait lasted for about fifteen minutes, when I saw Desmond walk in. He looked my way and I waved him over. He walked gallantly to my table but instead of sitting peacefully, this brother decided to ”tap current”. He came to my side of the table to hug and peck my cheeks.

I swear, the good ethics in me flew out the window as I pushed him away. He apologized shabbily and decided to take his seat. He began to chit chat about his journey and all that but I wasn't interested. Then he beckoned on a waiter to come and take our order.

_{my image}

I placed my order of fried rice and chicken and he did same. The waiter left and brother continued talking or rather expressing his romanticness. He was fawning all over me and talking about how beautiful I am, how he likes my slim stature and how he would enjoy me”. I can't remember how many eye rolls I gave him sha😜.

I would have replied him rudely if not for the waiter that intervened with the food. In my mind, this guy has lost 70 points already, so that's a no no.

We finished eating and the next thing he said broke the last straw of my patience. He asked me where we were to go next. ”Should it be his place, my place or a hotel?”

I gave him the longest hiss recorded in history and walked to the counter to pay for my food. If he thinks that buying me a plate of rice can get me in bed, then he is a mugu raised to the power hundred.

I walked back to him and warned him never to call or text me again and that this was a first an last. I gifted him another hiss as I walked out on him and found a cab home.

I was seething with anger all through the ride home but then one of Beyonce's song titled Irreplaceable began to play from the car stereo and I just vibed along, allowing the song to drain away my anger. I decided then and there that I would never go on a date with someone unknown to me again. Pressure be damned!

Thank you all for reading.

Images used were generated with Meta Ai.