Many years ago, discipline was on a different level. Parents were way more stricter and they surely did not spare the rod. At least, my father didn’t.
Now though, things have changed. I can’t raise a hand on my child for whatever reason but I can definitely give him the look that makes him understand that he is threading an invisible line. Now, there is so much out there that’s happening all at once. It caused me to think, what’s so different?
On the Neoxian City server, I watch numerous people interact; the majority from African countries like Nigeria and Ghana or Asian countries like India and Pakistan. It’s always interesting the kind of conversations they have. They lead with heavy sarcasm but what leads me to write this post is the difference in tolerance and reactions.
If anyone knows me, they know how such things fascinate me. I like watching human beings. People are very interesting and there are various theories and lessons that can be derived from watching people from different cultural backgrounds.
Back to what I was saying, I’m not so fast to catch up anymore with the city the buzz. I get lost in a mountain of responses and jokes. However, I caught one that sparked my thoughts. Most of the Africans recounted how their parents discipline them. It’s not a gentle spank either but they throw it around and laugh about it.
Before I could dwell on this, I was asked my take as an “old man”. One of the chatters wondered why things were so different over in the west and why “kids could sue their parents”. In her words, “ha! If you try it here, your bones won’t live to tell the story.”
I totally disagree with that notion of children doing that but I know it happens. For what reason, I can’t tell or go into such a topic. My answer to this girl was how much things weren’t so different years ago. Growing up, I received a great deal of whooping, however, as things changed people got softer. The hardship over here isn’t the way it used to be and so we could get away with making some mistakes. There was always a way to undo it.
However, for them in much harsher conditions, mistakes can spell grave consequences. I’m sure their parents know this and don’t spare them for any reason whatsoever. They are heavy handed because they need their offspring to understand that there’s no going back.
And this was my answer to the girl. In reality, we are not all so different. We just have different circumstances surrounding us. This shapes us into who we are today.
I pointed out how just a look from me can keep my son in check. That’s something that I’ve managed over the years of bonding with him. I’m sure many men would agree with me that raising a kid is no piece of cake. Especially in the beginning. I laugh just thinking about it. The night we returned from the hospital with a tiny bundle. I started rethinking all my life’s choices. I was petrified!
I am the father of that delicate child?
He looked so small and tiny. Fragile. I was at loss. Just where do I begin especially with my experience? I got the hang of it as time passed and I formed a bond with my son. We enjoy simple things together like cooking and playing croquet. Just being present as a father means a lot to a child.
We know that children immediately become attached to their mother but it’s different with us fathers. We always have to be deliberate and intentional. I think I have strayed away from the main point…
Anyway, in essence, I do not believe it laying hands on my child. However, like I was asked, I do not think that parents (especially from different backgrounds) who do are wrong for doing so. This is cultural difference and I don’t think we can pick a bone with that.
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