“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” -Bryant H.McGill
Respect is something people go to extreme lengths just to gain meanwhile it's just something you earn for treating people the way you want to be treated. Going extreme just to make people respect you is really insensible. I have seen people who try to force others to respect them, they got what they wanted but it was just for a short period.
I have always believed there is a price for respect even though it cost nothing, you can't be disrespectful to others and expect them to respect you. Respect has a kind of give and take characteristics, you have to possess it so that you can have it.
I am the very respectful kind right from childhood, I wasn't taught and I just find myself doing it. I greet people a lot, I barely call people names even when I know I am older, I prefer to give nicknames, and many others.
It doesn't end with people I know, I go as far as respecting strangers. Several times, I have been told by people that I am too respectful but it doesn't bother me because I believe in treating everyone right.
Instead of disrespecting people, I break off my relationship with them or I try as much as possible not to get involved in anything that has to do with them.
I stumbled on this question online and found interest in it because I have several experiences with it.
Should we respect others' ideas or advice even if they are harmful?
Respecting others doesn't end with their presence, people can be respected in their absence. We can respect people's opinions, ideas, advice, command, choices, and so many other things.
People's choices or advice for us can be harmful when taken and in some situations, I still choose to respect them.
I mentioned in a recent article how quiet I can be and the only thing that would make me participate in things is when called upon to do so.
Many times, I run out of words to express myself so it's better to be quiet. Due to this nature of mine, a lot of people find it difficult to tell what I can do or not but many are sure that I do not get angry. It's not like I don't but I have always controlled myself so well that even when I react drastically later to things, they believe it wasn't done with anger.
I wasn't the type who fancied girls when I was a teenager, my education was my priority. I had a few girls crushing on me, some still find my quietness attractive.
I had this girl who wanted to be my girlfriend and after much effort, she couldn't win my heart. She stepped up her game by involving a street brother who is called the king of boys due to his dominance over the teenagers and youths in the neighborhood. He was into cultism and the respect many had for him was a result of fear.
He stay in the next house to mine and somehow, he liked me. I am always careful around him because he can't be avoided.
He called me and spoke to me about the girl, he gave me tips on how to combine relationships and studies which made sense to him but not to me. I respected his advice even though I wouldn't take them, I got to know how mature he was and how to relate with him further.
Another scenario was at my place of work a few years ago when I was the supervisor for a group of contract workers.
These people do not have access to the company heads and they are been cheated. I got the job without knowing how things are being done so I was completely honest with them.
At a point, I felt the workers were doing too much but earning less. I made a move for an increase but my immediate superior stopped me. They eventually told me that their pay is more but they removed about 20% of it for themselves.
I felt bad about it and they advised me to cut something from their salary for myself as well. I appreciate the advice and played along but deep down I hated that idea, reacting against the idea would have made them know my intentions and I might be kicked out before I get the chance to help the workers.
In both stories, I was silent afterward and they didn't know what my plans were until I executed them.
Respecting others' opinions or advice doesn't necessarily mean you have to take them and sometimes, you just have to pretend to be cool with ideas and advice even though you are not. Respecting people's ideas or advice doesn't mean acceptance, your silence can't be taken as a yes or no.
It is normal for people to give advice or ideas and it is left for you to accept or do nothing with them even when you choose to listen.
There are times when it is safe to talk back because you have nothing to lose or gain so you can express your dissatisfaction but not in a disrespectful manner. In such a situation, I first appreciate the person showing concern before making the person see why the advice or ideas won't be taken.
Not everyone gives you the advice to destroy you, some people are ignorant about some factors that wouldn't make their opinion work so you have to make them see things from your perspective in a polite manner.
Respectfully tackling harmful opinions or advice can earn you more respect and as well help you educate people on why their advice can't be taken. If such a person is not seeking your downfall, he or she won't give such advice to others who might be in the same situation that made them give you such advice.