At the early stage of a child's life, it is a lot easy to groom them. Whatever they are taught, sticks. Whatever they see, they learn and adopt. Whatever you correct them on, they heed to.
They are like the seeds in a garden, if you fail to water and nurture and prune, external forces -insects and weeds- will take over.
I was raised in a typical Nigerian home. Both my parents gave premium discipline but, in different forms, with my father always giving warnings and talking and my mother who knew the power of the whip, using it once awhile. The last thing anyone wanted was for their kids to be used as bad examples.
I once told someone that however grown I am, I appreciate the fact that I have some persons who although I am quite independent of now, yet, I never engage in certain activities because I have to consider if they will find it worthy. I remember he laughed at me(or my words). I don’t know.
This kid back then used to give his mother hell when we were in primary school. He got off with what he wanted; food, toys, football, clothes, whatever.
If he didn’t get them, he raised enough hell to make the mother cave in. It was all fun and games then. That guy now? You don’t want to know how he is. So entitled. Literally screams at and fights his mother. Sometimes bearing weapons.
At the time, all she wanted was to show her child that she loved him. She let him have his way. She over-indulged. She let him speak and act in however manner he pleased. Rather than correct or tackle him for ills done, she let it slide, saying things like, "he'll learn when he grows. He doesn't know anything yet. He's only a child." LMAO.
Guess who can barely stay in the same house as him without fear for her being??
The problem is people act like badly raised children are going to turn out just fine as soon as or when they grow up. Of course not.
See, there’s no child who cannot be made to act right. Patience, understanding and love is needed. Children are ever ready to do the right thing. It actually is their default mode. Bad parenting opens them to options of ill behaviour. The key is to start early....catch them young
When I went to the University in a different state, I don’t remember why but someone asked where I came from and I told him. He stopped for a moment, he looked at me and said, "but you do not look and act like them. I asked him how he meant. He said, "they are problematic, loud and bad."
As much as it was insulting to me and to everyone of us who lived in that area, I understood what he meant - the place was almost a jungle. And then, I told him, "that it's a crazy place does not make everyone that lives there crazy. There are lots of well trained and properly behaved kids out there."
Young as we were, we were made to understand the theory of actions and consequences.
Kids are mind readers. At that young age, they gauge your mind and see if they can have an upper edge on the parents. Once you fail to act appropriately in a situation, then they continue to do it. Otherwise, they sit p.
A parent can be both strict and loving. Call it "tough love" if you may. It’s hard for both parents and kids but it works.
Whoever spares the rod? Whatever happened to intentional parenting? With raising kids, never stop teaching. You never get a break. You keep teaching, correcting and looking for teachable moments. Even the cartoons and movies they see can be used to draw inferences.
I know it is difficult and might put a strain on your relationship with the child(in those moments). But, it is worth it.
I'll conclude by sharing a friend's mother's best words on child grooming.
"If you have one kid in the world, raise him like you would raise him/her if you had five kids". Read that again. I hope you understand it
Meanwhile...
If you cannot train and discipline a child, then you have no business birthing one.
Never will I spare the rod.
I hope you enjoyed this.
Thanks for stopping by.