It was a very bright morning. I woke up to the raucous laughter of my neighbour and my roommate. I often wondered how impossible it would be for those two to convince an outsider that they weren't dating or sleeping with each other. Anyways, It's suppose to be an auspicious day (for me at least, right), a day where a great person was born and all the blah blah bloosh…
I walked out my door to take in the morning air like I always do.There’s something about the cold purity of it, devoid of the real and figurative stink of human activities and choices. But somehow, today it didn't seem to hold any significance, no exhilarating morning boost feeling.
Source: Meysam Jarahkar
After a short while, I went inside, did a few chores, and the next time I came to, the day was more than halfway gone. I must have slept off, I thought. My girlfriend came around later and sat with me, trying to make conversation, to make me laugh and the likes.
It was my “special day”, there were tons of birthday wishes via mostly text. But something interesting happened. Amidst those hundreds of wishes, I got a total of four presents, all from my girlfriend. There was no party, no fanfare, no clubbing or drinking.
The day came and pretty much went, as uneventful as can be. I wasn't excited, wasn't joyous, wasn't grateful; none of those regular emotions that you will expect to follow such. For the characteristically cheerful, that would have been a depressing day.
Later that night, before I went to bed, I evaluated my day and I came to several conclusions that made that day one of my most memorable birthdays. In that single day, I learnt a lot of life lessons..
Since that day, I never once again had a “birthday”. I vowed to reserve my birthday for myself alone. Nowadays, when it comes around, I just go somewhere to isolate myself from the world, online and offline and just be. There's something sad but therapeutic about it.
Someone once asked me, why don't you celebrate your birthdays?? I looked at him for a long time, and answered, “there is nothing special about it. It's just another day on the calendar”. He didn't understand it, still doesn't. Man thinks I'm a sadist (could be right though).
Most people don't see what's memorable about this story whenever it comes up, and I've often had to deflect to not make them uncomfortable, but yeah, that's my story. It was memorable for the lessons I learned; the lessons about how you have mostly just got yourself and no one else, the lessons about the sadistic never ending pursuit of things that do not really matter throughout the course of one's life, about the misconstrued definitions of what makes for a worthy life, a life well lived.
It's just what it is…