The more I observed John's demeanor, the more I was at peace with the decision I made earlier that day; this was going to be the first and last date with him.
I met John on a day I would describe as a ‘bad day’. I was genuinely running late and wasn't in the mood to communicate with strangers. John, on the flip side, was very chatty that morning.
“You're carrying a laptop, are you a media personnel?” John asked out of the blue. My first instinct was to pull my bag closer to my chest just in case this was the stranger's attempt at a robber.
“Yes, I am.”
“So you're heading somewhere this early in the morning because of this reason?”
“Yes, I am.”
I thought after the second unenthusiastic response, John would get the memo but he didn't. He kept battering me with questions of which my polite self chose to respond to. Eventually, we skipped to the part where I introduced my brand to him and went ahead to share with him my brand's social media handles. Soon enough, I arrived at my destination and hastily alighted the tricycle.
That evening, I got a message request and after doing the math, I realized it was John. He made enquiries about my business, asked gripping questions, gave interesting suggestions and recommendations and then finally went ahead to request that we go on a date to further discuss “business”.
At this point, I was convinced that John was either into the fashion business or knew people who were but I wasn't comfortable going on a date with a complete stranger. I spoke to my siblings and older friends about this and they advised me to go and so I did.
I chose the most open yet secured spot I knew, set a time that was most convenient and on the designated day, we conveyed at the spot but John was fashionably late and this was the first red flag.
Social dates are supposed to be a medium to get to know one another, share ideas and everything in-between so I hoped it was going to be smooth sailing.
We started with a proper introduction of ourselves and this was pretty much the last time I said anything during the date, not because I didn't want to but because I wasn't given the opportunity to. The second red flag.
John immediately started talking about everything except what we were actually supposed to talk about, stopping intermittently to pick his nose and rub the dried mucus on the table we both shared!!! The third red flag. I'm not easily irked by many things normal people are irked by but when it comes to hygiene, I get extremely disturbed.
As if the nose picking wasn't enough, I was bathed with enough saliva that day. Never in my life has so much natural mouth liquid touched me, not even when I was a tutor to hyperactive five year olds. The final straw that broke the camel's back was his consistent ordering of beer. I do not have a problem with people drinking beer, but it becomes a problem when you're slowly getting tipsy and uncoordinated even when you already bragged about how many bottles of beer you can take without getting affected. Was I on a date with a drunkard?
Amidst all of this, I listened with keen interest, because no conversation is ever a total waste. No?
We never got to talk about the main topic and I wasn't even willing to push it because I was already frustrated and John wasn't even in the right frame of mind to talk business. After what felt like an eternity, I made my willingness to leave known, paid for the bottle of pineapple flavoured drink I ordered and made my way back home. The big question is whatever happened to basic human etiquettes and manners? Disappointed and pissed off would be understatements in comparison to what I felt that day but I couldn't complain because I had seen the signs from the start but chose to ignore them.
This was without a doubt the worst date I had ever been on because I left in a worse state than I arrived.
This post is in response to the #neoxianprompts.