Life mission... just thinking on wheels

_{screenshot from my Strava App}

These are the details of that activity - https://strava.app.link/KXdT5kaW0Kb

I am still thinking deeply about my life mission. It must be something simple, but I can't see it. Perhaps it will only reveal itself at the right time.

While I think about these things, I write. And I also think about the courage it takes to go out into the street when you don't feel like doing anything at all.

The street in the concrete jungle can be very cruel, but also divine. It all depends on how you look at it.

If you feel that the world overwhelms you when you doubt your thoughts, intuition, and sensations, going out on the street is dangerous. If you are like a butterfly, light, with thoughts of renewal, inspiration, love and being one with the whole, then where you are will not matter, you will be manifesting heaven on earth wherever you are.

Yesterday I had to go to work. I used my bicycle, even though I had to get to an important meeting with the magazine's new director. I arrived just in time for the meeting, a little sweaty and fatigued too. But a few deep breaths, wet wipes and a good disposition, despite everything, changed the state where I got there.

There was a moment in the day when I felt fear because it hurt there in my heart. It was a few blocks before I got to work. My heart or that side of my chest hurt. But at the same time, I knew it wasn't a heart problem, but a lot of sadness working its way through my skin. I have also felt this pain before bed and in the afternoons for some time now, maybe a month or two, I don't know.

I am on the verge of making momentous decisions regarding "patterns" that I don't want to repeat in my life. It is a kind of liberation that I am super willing to go through, without pain, with the conviction that it is the only way to be a better person and to finally reveal to me that tomorrow to which I aspire. Some of these decisions have to do with my current working life.

The new director is catching up with all the teams or the members of each department. This is first of all to get to know the people, but also to make an inventory of the needs or difficulties we have in getting the job done. Our working conditions are really very bad. So I have been thinking for some time that I don't want to accept this any more and I don't want it for my life.

I wasn't really thinking of writing this post today. I feel the need to be silent; however, things are happening... things that scare me at the moment. Signs, I would say, that I am seeing and I want to interpret correctly, for my good, I guess. And writing always helps me gain clarity.

Some of these signs I get from reading. I have been reading some posts here on Hive for a few days now. There were, for example, those who were questioning necessary changes in their life including changing jobs or leaving the one they had behind. It came just when I was strongly questioning questions about my work life, and the balances I was making since I had my first job in 2004.

You may not understand much I'm writing here or you simply think I'm a bit "out of my mind", I don't give a damn. It's always been like that in my life. Everyone thinks I'm crazy.

Over time I got used to being seen and even treated that way. Today I understand that people, absolutely all people, are mirrors, and we come into the lives of others to reflect fears, and deficiencies, to show paths and to actively participate in the growth of that other being. Because we are all one. We are part of a matrix where everything is closely connected and related.

But speaking of how I feel today... if I were to do a Tarot spread right now, first of all, I would get the card of the madman, the queen of golds, the chariot, and the hung man.

😉

I also read something about disorders, delusions, etc, and well... it really is a lot of readings and a lot of signs.

Riding a bike helps a lot. And this is why I'm leaving this post here. Simply cycling makes me feel free and connected, very connected with compassion, with my inner strength and I think also with that green spirit that characterizes me.

Have I said that my place is between mountains, near the sea and the river, have I? If I look carefully back and around me, these are things that I have already had in my life or have: blue mountains in my adolescence, nature that surrounds me today, trees all planted by me and that bear fruit, sea nearby and there is even a river too, but it is not the river I want to see (this one here is very polluted, believe me, people throw everything in it, a lot of plastic.

...

I was just thinking about all this. And I didn't go home after the meeting, but went to pick up a friend to go cycling for a bit.

He had to deliver something in Old Havana and I went with him.

He invited me to have a cup of coffee in this place and when I arrived, this man caught my eye. He told me he was German and a journalist. He wrote in small, tight letters in a diary and when he saw a classic car passing by, he hurried to take pictures of it. Who knows if he was writing an article about it.

Just look at the picturesque scenery that surrounded him. And look up too.

We only exchanged a few words. I told him that I was also a journalist but that I didn't carry my camera, only my mobile phone. He smiled. At a moment when he was a bit distracted, three men came along pushing an old car, one of those we call "almendrón" here, and I warned him to take the photo. I imagine he took some good material yesterday. Everything was conspiring.

We had our coffee, but we didn't even sit down. We were chatting a bit and looking around. Laughing at the children's witticisms. It's amazing what we can notice in a few minutes. Life, pure and hard... but also innocent.

We would come back through the Malecón. That big couch that us Habaneros enjoy.

👆 A look towards the Faro del Morro lighthouse.

I wonder if anyone will be willing to read more than 1400 words in a post...

Anyway this 👆 is a view in the direction we were going to cycle, in search of the Vedado neighbourhood.

_{A friend took this photo of me}

We chatted around this place for a while. Those buildings behind me are quite familiar... I had a scholarship there (completely free) during my College days. I had a scholarship in two places in Vedado at that time. One that I already showed in a post a long time ago, the well-known Beca de F y 3era and this one that is known as 12 y Malecón.

Eventually, I chose to move out and find my own place, because I needed privacy and the living conditions there were not good. I scoured Havana for rentals, which was tiring and costly. I worked tirelessly, even sacrificing sleep, just to afford it.