No one really talks about the shame of not having it together. The shame of being behind your peers, the shame of not being where you had thought you'd be.
Hi, it's Abeegail, welcome to my blog, I'm actually on a journey to find myself through writing and journaling, so come with me as I talk about " the shame of not having it together". I tend to self isolate when things are not going smoothly, I shut everyone out and deal with things myself. I sometimes feel like I can't show up if i have nothing to show. I process things better when I'm alone and I won't show up until my life is somewhat okay. I'm at a stage where I am trying so desperately to improve myself, to a level where I can be proud to be in my own skin. I've been seeing and hearing from some of my peers and I can see how much they have grown and I'm happy but it just I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be.
But for some people they don't show up to gathering or reunions because they are low-key ashamed with where they are either physically or financially and for some, time passes and if feels like their lives never seem to come together, they are still struggling to pay the bills, and keep their lives from falling apart. So they stay away from their peers because they are not where they feel like they should be before coming out to meet up with friends.
It's not easy to say that this doesn't mess with us mentally. From self isolation, we fall into depression and situations seems worse than it actually is. It okay for people to see us messy, being messy sometimes is not something to be ashamed of, I know that that lack of "togetherness" tramples on our ego. It's okay for people to see you in your unfinished and unfiltered state. So shake that shame away and meet with people who can help.
It's Abeegail āØš
Thanks for reading š
ā¢ All images are mine
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