Hey, you. Yes, you.
Here, a bottle of water. In case you're thirsty from all of that scrolling. Or if you've just got started. Weather's hot. Stay hydrated, folks. (And stay together, like the couple in front of me lol)
When was the last time I wrote anything for GTSG? I think, somewhere around March. And now it's April, so almost a month without content for this, wow. Not that I mind about not writing if it's to add for other content like for the first blog for Pixel Linguistics, but it's something else.
...
Lately, perhaps due to exam week last week, I've been too anxious that I've been too avoidant and... (sigh) I can't even talk too much about it. Not that I'm avoiding the topic, it's just...
It tends to go to its extremes.
To be specific, I'm doing my best to be alive, no matter what or why.
...
And that's why I haven't written anything since the first episode of PixeLingo. (sigh) Writing now feels heavy too. Why do I feel like I've been watched? I mean— it's just another platform for Facebook, and I chose to lay my emotions bare because I don't have anyone to share in real life, (no, not my sister. I don't have... anything good to say about how my family deals with my emotions when I myself can't) But why am I bothered now? Anyway, forget I said all that and let's get this all on, shall we?
MAIN MENU:
-> Before Yesterday
The Trip To Compostela
[Consolacion]
[Liloan]
[Missing The Mark]
Nom, Nom, Nom.
The Way Home— Go Touch Some Grass Too!
Before Yesterday
A day before, two days before, three days before, I would find myself taking pictures of my trip en route to school, but never the events that happened in school. I did have pictures inside the school, but not as much. For context:
April 1, I fooled myself climbing up and down 8 floors of the Administration Building in our school, like some idiot I am. My reasoning: I thought our badminton games will happen there. And for the good love of the card spirits, it was 7 loving AM. That early! And so I played badminton the whole 2 hours (7 to 9 AM) with wobbly flipping legs. You can already guess what happened to me the day after...
A limp out of me, my lower torso throbbing in pain for several days straight. Nice April Fool's joke, me.
April 2, my phone lagged in the middle of my Software Design presentation. It was an online class, but... sobs, you can say it's eating me up. Thankfully I managed in showing that my login and signup screens function well, but I still have a face-to-face exam on Numerical Methods by the afternoon, something that my (extremely) tired legs didn't let me focus. Not an excuse, if you'd ask my older sister, and my overly critical self that time.
Let's say I'm minutes bit late to the exam. Tried studying what I have on phone, and the exam wasn't what I studied at all. It's all about solving, but please, I'm at my dumbest when it comes to numbers, especially on formulas I'm not familiar of (yet ironically, I like Synchro Summons). And so, I hid myself somewhere, feeling very shaken, critical, on edge... everything. That really made me feel so alone, even when I knew I've always have been ever since my college life started (Fun fact: I'm friendless in real life). This time, it's choking me to a point I...
April 3, my legs still hurt as ever. And get this: our Entrepreneurship teacher wanted us to go to the 5th floor of the ST Building for our exam. 5TH FLOOR! Have mercy on my barely recovered legs!
A live footage of me being left behind, no joke. I've already been struggling with stairs since yesterday, and this is making me cry... Can't cry for now, though.
April 4 wasn't much as I spent the whole morning studying (massaging them last night by myself worked somehow), and thankfully, Electronic Circuits had multiple choices. So, I chose what I can choose, solve what I can solve, and LEAVE.
Speaking of leave, I did messaged two of my "online" classmates that I might take the exam late. And there I was, an hour late for the exam, but our schedule was 1 to 4 PM. I ended up missing the time after wrestling with myself whether I'm taking it or not, which I did anyway because what kind of a reason is "not taking due to sheer anxiety and avoidance"? Sure, mental health issues are valid nowadays, but my family still lives under a sturdy rock. Ergo, invalid. And about the ones I messaged, only one responded AFTER the test, not even realizing I was there, let alone reading it. I get that she's busy, but... guess I was selfish to ever ask permission that way. I just thought I'd be throwing in signals that I needed someone to...
April 5, man... My legs finally had recovered from my own clownish act that Monday, AND NOW I HAD TO CLIMB 7 FLOORS for our Art Appreciation exam. I swear, give my legs a break... Even something as beautiful of a view under the scorching loving weather ain't easing my worries for another leg cramp session.
Beautiful, yes. Hot, also yes. This is the view of the 7th floor, on the windows of the room where we took our exam. Nasty height to fall down on, to be honest. Even I wouldn't want to drop down on that height, no thanks.
Thankfully, nothing happened.
And April 6 (phew)... Last day of midterm exams... And this whole thing is losing my mind, making me look at windows on the 5th floor (where we were staying before the exam) all the way down to the ground. Nasty heights... wouldn't want to fall down there, even when I've been seeing... visions. Guess I'm being obvious now, but yeah... my whole week's about THAT. Hence I really did say to myself that the goal here ain't the scores, but the escape.
And let's say I was the first to submit because I only answered what I can answer, a long-standing exam philosophy of mine. And my Environmental Science teacher then discreetly asked me before I left...
I have. And I'm feeling guilty that I both am bad at lying and might be antagonized by the whole class again (because I was, in a different way). And it had to be within the immediate area around me too.
Let's say I managed to glance at the table which my classmate showed to another classmate and added it to my answer (but only to a specific generalized question), but didn't manage to talk at all. I guess, friendless students make some "eyes" for the teacher. And much as it is nice to be of help, being antagonized for "not reading the room" and "uncooperative" isn't. I'm already friendless, and that added too.
AND THEN APRIL 7— Man, give me a break! That was a week-long rant, aha... So please... get up, stretch your legs, eat... do something else first.
MAIN MENU:
Before Yesterday
-> The Trip To Compostela
[Consolacion]
[Liloan]
[Missing The Mark]
Nom, Nom, Nom.
The Way Home— Go Touch Some Grass Too!
The Trip To Compostela
Okay. Took your breather? Good, because I did too.
April 7, a seemingly normal Sunday to me... my older sister was preparing to leave the house, which my mom caught wind of.
It just so happened that she's out for a birthday party in Compostela (somewhere 'round these parts, but definitely not a stone throw's away), and my parents urged her to take me along. Obviously for the reasons that I haven't been out to anywhere I like for three whole years since I had caretaking to do. And my sister seemed to be in good spirits to let me go with her. As for me, I'm cool in either side of her decisions, but going out is good, enough to go touch some grass. And call it a schadenfreude for me, but since waiting for an e-jeepney to pass by takes forever, I suggested that we'd walk our way instead. For this, I don't mind.
Some things that happened...
While walking down the road en route to Pacific Mall...
My older sister:
(mumbling) Dapat tulog man gud ko karon uy... Huhu.
[I should be sleeping now at this point...]
Me:
(curious) What happened diay ba? Isn't this your idea?
[What happened anyway? Isn't this your idea?]
My older sister
Pakuyog man gud si █████ nako adto ila Jandy. Kung wa pa, edi tulog ta ko karon. (feigning tears) Huhu, wa koy tarong tug gabii.
[█████ wants me to come along in Jandy's house (for Jandy's brother's birthday). Had it not been for the invitation, I would've been sleeping now. Huhu, I haven't slept well last night...]
May or may not exactly what we talked along the way, but that's the gist. Anyhow, finally arriving at the Pacific Mall to meet with him (as in my sister's boyfriend), there's this bus waiting for us, which we rode. And as what I told you, I took some pictures...
Consolacion
City's theme: On and On, Consolacion
This actually is a part of the northern Cebu, something I've never really visited (I get to visit the southern part more often). You can say that it's my first time. I mean— it's obvious. Nonetheless, the bus we rode had some spaces, so the ride wasn't at all hellish.
(Speaking of, pardon for the angle and quality of my pictures. Even my older sister feels perplexed over my captured images.)
Liloan
The Liloan Foodstreet. Not that I'm familiar of it, but that's what I can only take after missing the city's theme. But I still remembered what it is. Goes something like... Live Love Liloan.
If you could see here, I switched seats to get a better view (even if it means asking this young girl captured by this photo to excuse a bit. Still gets captured— a testament to my ineptitude today), but again: timing. I'm pretty bad at that.
Compostela
If there's one thing I didn't expect from the norths, it's the beaches. BEACHES!! I definitely haven't told anyone, but if it's any bodies of water, I'm always drawn to its charm.
Like, ARE YOU SEEING THIS?! The sea, I can see it... AAAAA!!
And then, the couple next to me (considering that I went back to my original seat) just giggled themselves at my pouting face for the disappointment of not letting me know about this. All I can say to my older sister is...
Nee-chan, you little piece of fluff.
Missing the Mark
Some things that happened...
Boyfriend:
(frustrated) Unsa man tong conductor uy? Giingnan gani na anha ra tas Green Lagoon, nilapas noon. Maynoon nakabantay ko.
[What's wrong with the conductor? I've already told him that we'll just stop at the Green Lagoon. Now we missed our mark. Luckily I noticed...]
My older sister:
(agreeing) Lagi. Mura man to gatanga ang conductor uy.
[I know right? That conductor wasn't paying attention.]
Boyfriend:
(ranting) Sus, niya mura pud tog wa ang driver.
[Tch. And then that driver wasn't paying attention as well.]
Me:
(still not getting over the fact I got tossed over from my seat while thinking of the sea, feigning tears) Waaaa, 海が。。。
[Umi ga...{The sea...}] (〒﹏〒)
MAIN MENU:
Before Yesterday
The Trip To Compostela
[Consolacion]
[Liloan]
[Missing The Mark]
-> Nom, Nom, Nom.
The Way Home— Go Touch Some Grass Too!
Nom, Nom, Nom.
Finally arriving at the destination, which by the way, is kuya Jandy's house, my older sister, her boyfriend, and I were welcomed by kuya Jandy's parents and made us feel at home.
A bit of context about kuya Jandy and his family: we're neighbors back then in my old residence somewhere in Lapu-Lapu. But then a fire broke out there, and that's how and why they now live in Compostela. As for my family... secret. I'll soon tell you about it. Soon, if I get to visit there again.
This here is what they have on the table. Sounds like a lot, but I only took two (or three, if including the cake) of the dishes there. Also, my own sentiment when it comes to festive dishes: when taste feels uncertain, grab the fried chicken. Fried chicken will rarely disappoint you. Surprisingly, the spaghetti was also delicious.
After a short lunch, we just chilled around while other visitors were enjoying the karaoke and all. Sometimes, I'd come to ask kuya Jandy and how his life is as someone becoming a priest (IDK the term for that). But most of the time, I was silent— I mean, yes, we were neighbors, but kuya himself isn't much of a close friend. Rather, he's of my sister's classmate, therefore I was just around to... well, come along.
MAIN MENU:
Before Yesterday
The Trip To Compostela
[Consolacion]
[Liloan]
[Missing The Mark]
Nom, Nom, Nom.
-> The Way Home— Go Touch Some Grass Too!
The Way Home
At the end of the day, we didn't get to take a dip on any sea, but it was fun nonetheless... while I had taken a photo of this couple just for this blog. That asides, seeing my older sister interacting with her classmates in junior high (her boyfriend being one of them), I just couldn't help but wonder where my friends in junior high are. Was it truly my fault that I eventually drifted far from them, went to interests known by only the lesser few? If it wasn't mine, what did I do to ever be this friendless? I wouldn't normally mind, except that it's college, and a bit of companionship matters more than before. That's why I feel happy for those posts here showing their friends, yet also sad as those I know in my school are typically transactional, and are fine with leaving me behind. So, I hope, as you reach this far, please cherish your friendships while they're there. Most importantly...