Two days and 3 nights, I’ve been working endlessly on multiple revisions. Then, I received notification that I needed to travel to another city and soon back to Papua, this time on my own.
Having to feel the comfort of holiday season and the comfort of my home, being called in suddenly like that, was a bit jarring. I realized that I signed my soul away to some unknown territory and possibly more adventurous than my previous life.
Lately, I wonder if I regretted the decision to sign my soul away and who knows what lies ahead. Metaphorically, it’s like being thrown into the ocean and had to survive on my own. The thought of it is a bit daunting compared to the things I did in my life. At least with me, everything is planned and the outcome of everything lies to my liking, this time, it is a bit different. The outcome is planned for me, and I must achieve it.
So, as much as the train I picked was good, I was traveling feeling uneasy. There were so many what ifs and most importantly about the fruition of this job. I know how difficult and challenging it is starting over into the unknown, it’s certainly not something new to me but this time, I don’t know why it felt different.
In the past, my schedule was based on my own. I get to decide a lot more things and now, I am not sure what I am even working on, who I am working with, and even how things operate around here.
I should be way past my complaining moment right now as I should be well-adjusted to so many uncertainties that this life has. Why can’t I be as excited as before?
Like for some reason, my spirit is crushed.
Maybe it’s just one of those days. I arrived the other day around evening in the main office area. I was dead tired, but revisions await. Thankfully, some of it is done and on Sunday morning, I get to check out the city center and went to the military complex for a Sunday morning walk and a meeting.
These days, whenever we go out, there’s always meeting here and there. It’s always not just about going out but meeting with so and so.
I learned a lot from these meetings, new things, new terms and people’s perspective. While it’s interesting to learn all this sometimes I felt small as if I didn’t know anything about this world.
Maybe I don’t know anything, Maybe I do. Who knows, but I better be good at making notes again these days. The only good thing is that I am learning new things lately and position myself better in this complicated dynamic between my family and their business.
It’s why I also watch re-born rich again. It taught me a lot about the nature of family’s owned business and the conflict that arises in those. It gets challenging when family feuds and things get into the way.
The only thing that helped me destress and actually made me stop and sit down is writing these thoughts out loud. By writing these thoughts, I can learn and note about what I’ve been thinking about when I was in autopilot or when my mind is like a twisted yarn.
Maybe I would not see the fruit of my labor in a year, maybe I would. I suppose those won’t depend on them but on me and how can I use some of my experiences and things I learned to my advantage.
Anyhow, see you around!
 | 𝘊𝘦𝘮𝘺 (𝘰𝘳 𝘔𝘢𝘤) 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝖼𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 & 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘳, 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘬. 𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘵, 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘵𝘩. 𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺, 𝘱𝘰𝘱 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘺; 𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘸𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴. 𝘍𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯 𝘏𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘣 𝘢 𝘤𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘴. |