Sometimes we create things and we don't expect those things to lasts. We just create them for fun or for the benefit of our current mood. Ten years ago I created an art. A painting of a girl beside the public road. It was part of my internship when I was in college. Back then I thought that maybe it will stay there at least one year and then another batch of students will repaint it with their work. So, I just draw for fun.
Behind the area where I draw were trees, they're leaves were hugging the space I was suppose to draw so I thought it was a good idea to draw a girl that looks like a fairy so she will be the one watching over the woods. Well, my teenage self thinks differently than my self now. Also, my drawing skills back then was not as good as myself today.
Now, let me tell you what happened to my day last week. We decided to walk around the town with my daughter. After so many years, we walk by the same place, same road where I painted the girl. It was still there. Here in our city, we don't usually roam around. The locals here stay at home as much as we can because it's exhausting to go out due to the traffic caused by tourism. That is why with all the changes in our city especially the augmentation of every tourist spot here, I didn't think that my art will still remain there.
The girl was still there but she's different from before. The leaves around her became less. Her color faded away. And what made me a little sad is that, a person vandalized the art. Like, there are other space near that wall. Why didn't they just made their own art on those wall and why did they decided to ruin someone else's? I started to wonder how they felt when they did that. Also, some person also scratched and removed the paint from the art. I know my artwork is not the best but didn't those people think what the other end will feel when they see their art ruined?
While looking at the art, I snapped out of my thoughts when I realized that my daughter was looking at it. I started thinking of myself 10 yrs ago when I did the painting. I was a teenager back then. I was single and still at school. Now life change so much. I have my own family and I already have children. It was just one decade and a lot had changed. There's this feeling of being glad because even though the painting was not the same anymore, I had a chance to watch my daughter see an art I did ten years ago. It's like I let my daughter meet myself 10 yrs ago. That kind of feeling.
My daughter was looking at the painting with innocent curiosity. She wasn’t born when I painted it. She didn’t exist in my thoughts back then and yet there she was, standing in front of something made by a younger version of me, a version of me that didn’t yet understand love the way I do now.
That contrast stayed with me.
The girl on the wall belongs to my past. The child holding my hand belongs to my present. And I stand somewhere in between being shaped by both.
Ten years ago, I left my mark without realizing it would remain.
Now, I understand that nothing stays the same forever and that maybe it doesn’t have to.
Photos are mine edited using CollageArt.