Sometimes choosing myself is not pride it’s survival. And sometimes saying “no” is not wickedness l it’s wisdom.
*Ai image generated
I didn’t always understand this.
There was a time I felt like I had to be everything for everyone. I gave my time, my energy, my attention even when I was already tired. I kept showing up, kept trying to meet expectations, kept saying yes even when I wanted to say no. I thought that was what made me a good person.
But slowly, I started to feel drained. I was present for others, but absent for myself.hmm! I ignored my own needs just to make sure others were okay. And the truth is, not everyone noticed. Not everyone cared the way I expected them to.
One day, I sat down and asked myself a simple question: “What about me?”
That question stayed in my mind for a long time.
I didn’t change overnight, but I started making small decisions. I began to set boundaries. I stopped over-explaining myself. I allowed myself to rest without feeling guilty. I focused more on what truly mattered to me and less on trying to please everyone.
Some people didn’t understand the change. Some people felt I had become distant. But I knew I was finally being honest with myself.
And little by little, things started to change.
I recently reached 8K followers on Facebook. 🎉
Ai generated image
To some people, it may just be a number. But for me, it means growth. It means consistency. It means showing up as myself without trying to impress anyone. I didn’t force it I just stayed real, and the right people connected with that.
This is what I understand as positive selfishness.
It’s not about ignoring people or acting like nothing else matters. It’s about not losing yourself while trying to hold on to everyone else. It’s about protecting your peace and valuing your own well-being.
If you’ve been giving too much and feeling empty inside, I understand. But it’s okay to pause. It’s okay to choose yourself too.
I’m still growing, still learning, still becoming. But one thing I know now is this I deserve to show up for myself too.
Welcome to my blog... Thanks for reading.
_ Anzaya Awayo