Marriage! It's crazy how I've had mental images of how I want my marriage to be like.
I think it's great to have a beautiful wedding, the whole fairytale kind of setting, but the life that comes after the big celebration is the main thing. Every guest, both invited and uninvited, family and friends, enemies even would have left and you're left alone with that one person. For me, getting married goes beyond saying I do, it goes beyond looking pretty and all of that beautiful decorations. It is you looking at the person you're about to spend forever with and with every beat of your heart and every passing moment you are sure and certain that you are not just getting married to someone but you are about to do this life thing with your friend. Not just your friend but your best friend.
That is what I want, I want every assurance that I made the right decision everytime I look at his face. I want someone that'll be mine and mine alone. Someone I can do the littlest things with and for and I won't feel like I'm doing the most or I'm not appreciated. Someone who has the same vision of a great family as myself, someone who isn't shy of being himself with me and me with me. Someone who shares my joy and pain as his. Someone who is comfortable with telling how work was tough that day, someone who'll tell me when his strength is failing as a man and instead of looking down on him, I want to be that wife that'll pray for and with him and we'll walk through that phase together.
I want a home where when my kids are asked between mummy and daddy whose your favorite and instead of picking one parent they'll get confused cause they love us both equally and would want to be parents like us one day. I want a home where instead of discussing our problems with friends we discuss it with us and pray for guidance. I want a marriage where when we feel like we are loosing the spark, we go back to the drawing board and recreate new memories where we do things right again. I know people say men are polygamous in nature and we ladies shouldn't expect a faithful husband, but this goes beyond me writing but it's actually a prayer I make everyday. My husband will have eyes for just me and me for just him, I know he'll feel tempted by other ladies outside, that's why I will want a marriage where we can talk about such things without the fear of being judged by each other. I want a marriage where we are comfortable with failing and not feeling like failures. Where when we fail we inspire each other and see each opportunity to do and be better. I want a marriage where we have healthy fights and instead of going out after a fight to cool off with God knows who, you just sit quietly and after few minutes when the tension is down, we talk it through. I want healthy drama, healthy fights, a safe space for my children.
I want a home where I and my husband are my children's best friends. A marriage where despite the fact that we want to make money and live comfortable lives, it'll never come before the family. I want a kind of marriage where family comes first all the time. I want a marriage where my kids would struggle to know if their parents have a fight cause we'll never fight in front of them. I want a marriage where my family is his family and his family is mine. Where we don't differentiate between our parents and siblings. I want a peaceful home and most importantly a home that fears God and puts God first.