Anger is a very powerful emotion. It is not only powerful but very destructive too. Being angry is not really good as some people do damaging things when they are angry. I had a friend once who destroyed her boyfriend's phone because she was angry. Anger is not good at all.
I used to be hot tempered and just a little spark of offense done to me could flare me up. Guess what...? I didn't care because all I could see was red anytime I was angry and until I was done venting, I won't be calm.
I didn't care if you were an elder or a teenager, as long as you got me upset, I go into full lash out mode. After I have done or said my piece at that time, the anger subsides but then it leaves a bitter taste of bile in my gut (something I didn't like at all).
Not only that, after each anger episode, I usually feel bad like I did something that was undignified and until I made peace with that person, my conscience won't let me rest. All of this happened in the past. I like who I am now, changed and transformed and it's all thanks to positive behavioural patterns and dispositions that i inclined to.
During the time when I had fits of anger, I wasn't destructive nor did I engage in physical fights and all but my mouth was sharper than a two edged sword. I could make a Goliath feel so small like an ant, just with my mouth, all because I was angry. But I later learnt that such was not the way to use my mouth nor was it how to treat people.
How I overcame
The first step I took in overcoming my anger outbursts was to openly acknowledge that it was bad. There is a saying used where I live and it states...
"Until a sick person admits to being sick and needing help, he or she cannot be cured"... unknown
I knew that anger was an emotion but I l also realized that it was an unhealthy emotion and its aftermath was not favourable to me or others at all.
So I began to be more self aware in the way that I treated people who get in my nerves. I learnt that even though I was angry, I had the responsibility to call out that person's offense without hurting their dignity.
The second thing I did was to read good books that helped me change my mental paradigm. One book stood out for me. The book is titled Attitude is everything by Keith Harrell. From reading that book, I got enlightened that inculcating positivity can quell the desire for an outburst whenever I am angry.
Screenshot of the book from my e-book gallery
Thirdly, I also learnt a key game changer, which is to take a pause whenever someone was getting on my nerves. I do this a lot and I must confess that doing so has been very beneficial in helping me manage my anger.
Instead of retorting to "whoever" is trying to make me angry immediately, I take a 3 to 5 minutes pause. Sometimes, I even walk away if the situation permits and later try to resolve any issue when I have fully reflected on things.
Over the years, putting these three tips to practice has been very helpful. I can boldly say that I hardly get angry these days. This does not mean that I don't feel it... I do feel anger but I no longer throw fits of anger nor harsh words at my offender. I am pleased with the person I have grown into. One who can use her head before her fists.
I have learnt to walk the higher road and be a bigger person. Indulging in anger outbursts does more harm than good. Sincerely not worth it.
Thank you all for reading... Shalom
Images used are mine.
Gif by Tenor.