I tend to agree with the Yoruba adage which says “twenty children cannot play together for twenty years.” There's truth and reality in that statement. By looking into our lives, we can merely see these words play out. Can we say that we are still with everyone we grew up with? Maybe not everyone, but say a majority of them even. Or we stick to the number twenty from the adage. But perhaps, one's case could be different.
Several reasons could characterise why this happens. Since we didn't expect that this would be the result, we had hoped to remain connected. You think of some of the wonderful memories or moments with these people, and it seems like it would never end. Some good on to even make promises to each other, to remain together as friends or whatever. But life happens.
I look around, and the people around me, and it's true that the people I was once together with and connected to are no longer around. Many reasons call for this in a general sense. For some, it could be about some differences, unresolved issues, misunderstanding, distance, change in perspective or ideology, life issues, decisions and choices, values and the like.
Today, I can say that most of the people I relate with are surprisingly (or maybe not) the people I met later on in life. Some of my close friends are the ones with whom I became friends after growing up, to an extent. What happened to the ones I had while growing? It seems like a parting of ways with some; peacefully of course.
I still maintain a connection with some. Though not as much as it should. One typical example is childhood friends. Our change in values, or the path we are taking in life pulls us away, kind of. I do bump into some at times and exchange pleasantries, but it's not like the connection we had. I consider that as we grew, we had our perspective and plans towards life, and with that, some of our ideals changed.
Another thing that influenced the idea of outgrowing some of the friendships was distance. Some left and we never met, or did meet one or two times. On my part, my constant being away from home since high school influenced and affected this friendship. That's why I mentioned that some of my most dear friends are the ones I made later in life, while growing up.
Even with the people I met later in life, there was a pull or push away from some. Most times, it's about the mindset and perspective towards life that strengthens or overrides it. So yes, there were people I came across and became friends with while growing up, but the friendship had to go the other way. I think whatever history a friendship bears, we might happen to outgrow one another or the friendship.
For me, I'll say it's more of an outgrowing the friendship not the people. This is because I maintain communication with some, whether much or little. I've seen some help me in life and vice versa. So, it isn't about being better than them, but taking my own path as I should and doing what I need to. For some, they are doing what they need to as well, and that's nice.
Images are mine.