Forgetting things is part of us as humans. Our memories just decides to betray us atimes, and some of those moments are harmless, while others can cost us something we never imagined losing. I had my share, one that haunts me till date, and I will be sharing it.
It was a few years ago, I wasn't so much of myself then, I had a lot of pending issues, myn mind was just everywhere except where it needed to be. That was when I made the mistake that almost burnt everything I owned to ashes. It was in the evening, NEPA did what they knew how to do best, they took the light, total darkness, and my phone was almost off, I had to look for my powerbank, in my desperation, I lit a candle to help me search, it was just small. I found the powerbank and decided to step out to just buy something, I placed the small candle on a stool near a pile of old mattresses and cushions we had been planning to dispose of for months. I went out and got distracted by a conversation with a friend outside. I laughed, gisted, and even bought suya from the nearby mallam. But then, out of nowhere, I smelled something. At first, I thought it was just the usual burning smell, until I heard someone scream FIRE.
My heart stopped. The thing hit me, I remember the candle, I ran inside, and true to my fears, flames was licking the walls of my room, it was swallowing all my belongings. I was stiff, couldn't do anything, couldn't even think straight, it was some neighbors and nearby people that pulled me out and rushed in with buckets of water, but the fire was stubborn. My clothes, certificates, home appliances... everything was there and by the time the fire was put out the damage was irreversible. I just stood there staring at it all, I wanted to cry, but no tears came, I wanted to scream, but my voice betrayed me. I was crushed, I don't keep light on when stepping out, why did I place it near those things in the first place, was my mind so preoccupied, how could I forget, no one to blame but myself, if I had put it off.
That night, I couldn't sleep, I thought about how a simple mistake, a small forgetful moment, had changed so much in just a matter of few hours, the guilt of knowing I had caused my own misfortune held me. But life won't pause for anyone, life goes on, and I had to find a way forward.
I had to start from scratch. I borrowed clothes from friends while relying on their generosity too and that of family, and slowly began replacing the things I lost. But some things couldn’t be replaced, name it, important documents, little pieces of my past and all that had vanished in the flames. It took me a while to forgive myself, to accept that I was not the first person to forget something so important and I wouldn’t be the last. The real lesson was not about being careful with fire, but about being mindful, paying attention and not letting stress and distractions make me careless.
That experience changed the way I handled things. Now, I double-check everything, I mean everything, be it candle or solar or the NEPA light, I put it off immediately after use. I developed some habits to help me, I put off light when going out, even when am home and am not using it, I put off those ones I ain't using or not important. People laugh at me for being “too cautious,” but I know what forgetfulness can cost. I’ve seen it burn and took away things.
There was a time I forgot an interview date too and I was hesitant to call and ask to be sure, unknowingly it was a week earlier to when I finally went. I had prepared and read and masters some interview etiquette. But on the actual date I was at home watching a movie, completely unaware that I was supposed to be in a conference room convincing a panel that I was the best candidate. I should have written the date down on my phone, or set a reminder, or write it somewhere, but the opportunity was gone, I sent apologetic emails, made calls, but the HR in charge said no rescheduling. That also cost me a job that could have changed my financial situation greatly.
Thinking about it all now, I wish I could say that after these experiences, I never forget anything again. But that would be a lie. I still forget things like....last week, I left my pot of beans on the fire and went out to buy recharge card. I returned to the smell of burnt offering filling my room and kitchen. The difference now is that I have learned to reduce the damage forgetfulness can cause me. I have learned that while we cannot stop forgetting totally, we can reduce the chances of it costing us what we cannot afford to lose.
If you are reading this, at least, learn from me, that little thing you’re about to leave unattended to, that task you keep postponing, that candle you think you’ll remember to put out, please and please take care of it now. Before it takes something you can never get back.
All pictures are mine.
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