Whenever I hear of that word “FEAR” it makes me remember a lot of things I had been through because I was afraid of things I did not even understand.
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Fear is one of the most silent thieves in life, some years back, fear had a good grip on me, I was afraid of the unknown, I was afraid of the future, I was afraid of failing, afraid of starting something new, in fact, I was literally afraid of everything.
Something happened to me some time ago that I would never forget and it happened all because of this same “FEAR”. I was in SS2 class then, it was on a third term and we were to write a mock exams in preparation for the forthcoming WAEC. We had chemistry exams that day and we all prepared, we were cleared and checked in to proceed with the examination.
As we sat on our different seats to receive the answer booklets and question sheets and we were asked to start the exams. I started mine, I was doing what I could but something happened, there were two hefty guys, one in front of me while the other was behind me and I was the little one between these two huge guys there were my classmates oo but they had other plans to execute in the exams hall.
So while the exams was still on, the person in front threw a piece of paper to the one behind but it mistakenly fell on my desk, the person behind was pushing me to send it across to him, my hands were trembling because I have never done that before and I could not even carry it to him, throw it away or report to the invigilator what happened.
Hmmmm, it was hard, reporting to the invigilator was the last thing on my mind but I never had the courage to speak up, what if I reported and no one believed me, what if I tell the invigilators and they denied it how will I prove it, what if the invigilator gets to believe me and punish the culprits, they would definitely come for me after school which I had always tried as much as possible not to step on anyone’s toes.
It was a hard decision to take and I was just there lost in thought and the guy behind was still tapping me, the invigilator noticed and came right away, we were both told to stand, I was asked what happened but I could not explain because the paper was right in my hand, I kept wondering who would actually believe me.
The guy was asked and he said that I was with some piece of paper so he asked me to discard it, so I won’t put every on seated close to me in trouble.
Hmmmmm, I was so speechless, the man believed him and all I could do was cry because I was so afraid to speak up for myself at that point. I thought that I would only put myself in more trouble ifI spoke.
The man was a very stern person, he already brought the malpractice form, I told him I never did it but he still didn’t believe. At that point, I prayed to God for a miracle and it happened, while I was about signing the form, someone stood up and spoke on my behalf, she said she saw everything and I was innocent.
She even asked the man to search the guy who sat in front of me, behold, all other papers with same handwriting were in his pocket, hmmm, that was how I was set free, I really thank God for raising a savior that day for me.
After that incident, I learnt to not let fear control me, I learnt to speak up even when I won’t be heard sometimes but it is better than letting fear take the win.
Fear is very terrible and I don’t want to be held by it anymore, thank God for growth.