Tears rolled down my face as I stared deeply into the screen of my phone, this was the scene my mom saw as she stepped into the room, she was shocked and wondered what made me cry so much, she approached me and asked "Abi, why are you crying, what's the matter". I was shocked, "tears, but I'm not crying" I replied as my hands touched my face and I was actually crying. My mom just looked at me with disbelief, she realized that I was reading a book and said "I should have known that you were reading a book". That's how it is when I'm reading, I get so engrossed that I sometimes feel like the characters, "Stay With Me" made me feel like this and everyone at home could tell. I didn't stop talking about it, I told everyone at home, school, even at church, so I decided to share it with you guys today.
Plot Summary
Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀’s Stay With Me (2017) is a Nigerian novel that follows Yejide and Akin, a couple with dreams of building a family deep rooted in love, but years pass and there is no child. In a culture where a woman worth is based on the ability to give birth, Yejide is the target of gossip ridicule and pressure. Akin decides to stay monogamous but pressure from his family makes him take a second wife, Yejide is devastated. In desperation, Yejide tries all traditional rituals, even a Pilgrimage to a prophet's mountain, she eventually conceives but the joy is short lived as the child died. This became a thing as the children die young or never survives in time to keep the marriage stable.
Despite all this tragedy, there is a big secret that Akin is keeping; he is infertile and he conspire with his brother, Dotun, to father children on Yejide behind her back, to keep the marriage intact. The betrayal shatters Yejide trust and further elevating her grief. The novel has a double narrative as it tells the story from the side of the victim to that of the betrayer. Yejide in the end leaves the marriage, after years of grief and sorrow as she tries to rebuild her life.
I should have known something was off by the way Akin was too sure that Yejide was not pregnant
My Thoughts and Critic
Reading this book made me feel like my heart was breaking slowly. I felt the pain of Yejide and how she lost her self slowly. One thing I find crazy was how people around her kept blaming her for her childlessness, forgetting that it takes two to tango. Even today, women are being put in the spotlight and forced to carry the burden of childbirth solely, as if men are not relevant in the situation.
What I realized was that love really caved when the pressure of childlessness and deep secrets weighed on it. Akin and Yejide's story initially started as a love story, but with each loss and tradegy the love dissipated. Akin really loved Yejide but his deception broke the very love he was trying to protect. Sometimes we think we are protecting the people we love, only to break them down with lies.
The part that really made me break down was not the fact that she kept losing her children, it was Yejide herself, how her life collapse, how she nearly ran mad out of desperation, as she tried to fit into the expectations of others that suffocated her. This novel really opened my eyes to the fact that we sacrifice ourselves to meet people's expectations and that love doesn't matter if it is weighed down by secrets and pressure and that sometimes leaving is the bravest thing to do.
One thing I love about Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀ is the narrative technique he carried out in this book. The dual narrative; switching between Yejide's and Akin's point of view, adds layers of perspective. It also puts reader in an emotional controversy as it shows both side. The non-linear structure also enrich the story, giving it another dimension. Although the novel sparks deep emotions of loss and longing, some may argue that the intensity of the grief and tradegy might be overwhelming. Political unrest is present but also feels underdeveloped, it just linger in the background.
Stay with me is a heartbreaking yet beautiful tale of love, loss and longing. It shows the cost of love in a society where culture and tradition rules the personal lives of individuals. It's not just about childlessness, but also about how love can shatter under immense pressure and lies. Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀'s Stay with Me is like a gift from someone special that you remember from time to time. The story leaves an aftertaste long after the last page.
It's Abeegail, 😉
Still flipping pages. 🤭😊
Thanks for reading.