One of the books that changed my life was "Embracing Uncertainty" by Susan Jeffers. I could clearly remember what happened the day I downloaded this particular e-book and why. I had just finished school, and I had a good relationship. However, things were about to turn around or I thought it was. I was supposed to start this new chapter of my life, and my partner was supposed to move to a whole new place as well. We were going to be further from each other than I imagined.
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It was terrifying, the idea of the unknown. The fact that I had a perfect and comfortable life and at that point, I didn't know what tomorrow held for me and my relationship. I couldn't talk to anyone because I felt no one would understand. So, I did the one thing I could do, search on the internet. It was a habit of mine to ask Google for answers.
On that particular day, I searched about uncertainties in life and browsed through many web pages, but I couldn't find what I was looking for. Well, until I did. I came across this particular ebook and downloaded it. It didn't have many pages, but it was exactly what I needed.
Reading this book made me realize that uncertainties are what life is about. Infant, everyone must go through it. It made me see that everyone wants to feel safe and experience that security that comes with life, whether in jobs, health, relationships, and so on. However, life once in a while throws you in a curve ball. The question is, what do you do when this happens?
And yes, the book had answers for me and provided me with tips that would help me.
One, it said to deal with things you can control. Remember, I was entering a new phase and had no idea of what to do. I was majorly worried and sitting in a place. So, I thought about it. What are the things I could control at that moment?
I was a graduate, so automatically, I could apply for jobs. Right? I had control over that. I started on the hunt for a job. Another tip was to challenge your need for certainty. People often need reassurance or micromanagement because they believe that if they did that, they would be able to control things. The book made me understand that these won't help, and the way I could tackle them is by asking myself some questions;
• How much can you really be certain about in life?
• What are the advantages and disadvantages of certainty?
• Do you assume something bad would happen just because you don't know what would happen?
Now, answering these questions myself, I realize that not knowing doesn't equate to bad things happening. Sometimes, it's a preparation for the greater good. I concluded that I couldn't be exactly certain of everything and anything, so it helped me relax, manage my expectations, and breathe easy. I even started glowing, ha!
Another important tip was to focus on the present. This one stuck with me. I was always a future person. What will happen tomorrow? Let's plan for tomorrow. I often forget and miss out on the moment. But, after reading this book, It made me realize that the present was more important than anything else. I started being actively mindful of what was happening at that point. I became grateful even for the things I had at the moment.
I mean, I was a graduate, and I had an amazing relationship. These were the things I should have focused on, and I did. I didn't let my midnight wander as it did in the past, and this in fact made me enjoy the little things and made my relationship stronger.
Finally, the icing on the cake was managing your stress and anxiety. I felt this should have been first because I needed a cure at that point for my fear of tomorrow. The book said that to manage stress, I should get moving. That is, I should do something. This helped me to see how idle I was. I had so much spare time that I could be anxious. So I danced, laughed, talked, and basically just felt.
Another way to attack anxiety, which I left, was to get healthy sleep, eat a balanced diet, and make time for relaxation.
After going through this book, I could definitely say that I picked up all these, and it has helped me dwell on the "NOW" and manage expectations for tomorrow.
As a parting gift, here is a quote from the brilliant book, "If we embrace the good that can come from whatever life hands us, we have come a long way in learning how to embrace uncertainty."