Warm greetings to all book lovers. Today I’d like to recommend a book that encourages us to reflect on staying true to ourselves even when living with a partner. It makes us want to fight for our own space, time and boundaries.
To Love or to Depend? by Walter Riso is about exploring the world intensely, in search of the meaning of life. It is about enjoying love whilst setting certainty aside. It is the art of loving without attachment, which for many is something very difficult to achieve. Perhaps because this way of loving is frowned upon by society, as emotional freedom can be confused with a licentiousness that must be curbed.
We must embrace our partner without limitations. If we have confidence and self-esteem, we will be fully aware of what we are doing. An interpersonal relationship is a constant process in which we adapt to one another without losing our independence, making love as if we were one without depending on one another.
The author also discusses how to overcome emotional attachment and give ourselves freely to love. Loving intensely without fear leads us to see love based on reality as it is. Loving without attachment means enjoying love as a couple, feeling pleasure freely without the certainty of possessing the other person. The way we love depends on each person’s character. If we are irresponsible, dishonest or insecure, so too will the romantic relationship be. If, on the other hand, we are free-spirited and open-minded, our love life will be fulfilling, healthy and lasting.
He emphasises that emotional dependence within a relationship will, at some point, lead to suffering and emotional strain. The fear of losing a loved one, the fear of loneliness or abandonment, completely taints the relationship between partners, as insecurity gradually erodes the bond of love until it causes them deep suffering.
When we depend on the person we love, we give ourselves over as if we were giving up our very lives, without giving it a second thought. We give ourselves over as if this were a sign of selfless love, when in truth we do so to keep the relationship on good terms. What we achieve by doing this is to refuse to see reality. We are ceasing to be ourselves to become an extension of the other, leaving us without a life of our own, without self-respect and without the essence of our being.
Although it may seem impossible, it is possible to love with freedom and independence, strengthening the bond of love every day, based on respect and self-confidence. When we love without attachment, we manage to keep the passion and infatuation alive over time, allowing love to flow unconditionally.
If we remain true to our principles, why not love one another freely, without fear of being who we truly are? Face your fears and embark on the adventure of loving without attachment!
I hope you enjoyed my post. I look forward to seeing you soon when I bring you another wonderful book.
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