“Don’t take anything personally.” — Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
The Four Agreements is a book that focuses on having clarity, peace, emotional freedom, and the practices required for these to come to pass. The book is quite old, but not as old as The Richest Man in Babylon. The Four Agreements was published in 1997, but its language remains simple and effective in conveying its message to readers.
For this book review, we will focus on a quote that has stuck with me, as it has now become my model for book reviews. I start off with striking quotes that stuck with me in understanding what the book has taught me. In this book, the quote is:
Don't take anything personally.
Honestly, I think we are now living in a world where people have become quick to respond to every comment, word, or expression directed towards them, or worse, it may not even be. I feel this is the true origin of a lot of hate speech on social media. Everybody lives with a mindset that I have something to say, so you must listen to me. I must say this, or I have to say that, without even thinking for a moment about how relevant what I am about to say is.
This mindset has increased the noise out there and driven the true people who have something to say, since everywhere is noise, whatever they may have said gets lost in the noise. The saying Do not take anything personally from the author Ruiz is the second agreement of the book from the four agreements the book is based off. It was a bit difficult for me to swallow when I came across it at first. This is because I thought the author was suggesting I should let everything slide.
Well, through further reading, it is not about taking insults whenever they are thrown at you, but it is more about understanding that what people have to say about you is only a reflection of their issues, sensitivity, and insecurity, and has nothing to do with you. It is more like what a friend shared with me recently, when he told me, it is not you who is the naive one or a fool for choosing to apologize while the other person refuses to. It is only a reflection of the person's immaturity and not yours.
Frankly speaking, the world is filled with people who live for the sole purpose of displeasing others; that is why you can see they are quick to start a fight, use provocative words, and above all, become consumed with their notion that they always have something to say even when it was not requested.
Furthermore, the most important concept of the Ruiz point in describing his Do not take anything personally quote is that we become receptive towards other people's thoughts and their insecurity when we always respond to what they say personally. But when we choose not to and how to respond, probably by letting them run loose, it only shows their insecurity and immaturity. For me, it is more of letting them talk and say what they choose. Let the dogs bark; you can not stop a dog from barking.
Building restraint from responding to things personally is a true form of freedom, and the more you exhibit it, the better you become at it. The world is sensitive now, so choose how you respond to it.
I am , a chess player and writer. I love to share the experience I have gained from different battles over the 64 squares and the knowledgeable insights from books I have read. But most importantly, I am a Midnight Owl and I founded the community Midnight Letters.
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Thanks For Reading!