We were perfect. We were beautifully and hopelessly lost in each other.
What prompted me to read Before We Were Strangers?
Honestly, it was the title. Something about it pulled me in—nostalgic and haunting, like a song you haven’t heard in years but still remember every word. Then came the tagline: “Can you ever really forget your first love?” That was it for me. I’ve always been drawn to stories of lost love, what-ifs, and second chances. So when I stumbled upon this book, I knew I had to read it and I’m incredibly glad I did.
Deeply, Before We Were Strangers is a tale of those two human beings who were once everything to one another, and then, due to the reasons that life so frequently presents to us, were not. Grace and Matt get acquainted in the 90s as students of NYU. She is a cellist. He is a photographer. They live in a small apartment building as neighbors. Their friendship blossoms into a romance that is pure, passionate and lushly amateur.
Yet, life takes place. Chances come, decisions get to be made and without a dramatic betrayal scene or an angry argument, they just grow apart.
The setting is 15 years later. Matt watches Grace in a subway. Only an eye contact, not a word. But that is enough to rattle the very basis of his heart. It is that moment which is a flashback to the entire story. He posts a Craigslist ad with the title Missed Connection (yes, really) and hopes Grace will read it. And yet somehow miraculously she does.
And then the story takes two timelines the past, in which we fall in love with their college years and the present, in which we pray to get a second chance.
Reading Before We Were Strangers was like being hugged in a nostalgic memory that tears a bit. It is a love story not too serious in attempting to be poetical- and yet it is, in the sweetest and most simple manner.
What really impressed me is the way Carlino portrays the course of time, not the way most people perceive it but the way people drift away without even noticing. One minute you are inseparable and the other minute you are strangers. The gradual loss of touch, the guilt and the pangs that accompany it are described so honestly that you will see elements of your own past in their narrative.
Grace is gentle but tough. She is such a character, who feels real- her love to music, her emotional control, and her weakness all strike the right chords. Matt is also layered. He is not a dreamy romantic hero and this is what makes him lovable. He errs. He allows her to leave. However, when he understands what he has lost he does not lose a moment in an attempt to win her back.
Their relationship is not ideal; it is dirty, and it is sweet and sometimes annoying. That is what makes it believable, though. It does not romanticize heartbreak. It teaches you that life may take wonderful things and disintegrate them and out of fate, slowly it will pick up pieces.
I believe every person has his or her Grace or Matt in the past. That man you loved in a past that was already another life. Perhaps the timing was not right. Perhaps, it is because you were not prepared. But sometimes something will make you think of them, and your heart closes up with the quiet pain.
This book took me back to that feeling. That point when everything seems to be going out of control and you do not know what to do to prevent it. It took me back to unwritten love letters, untried phone calls and subway stops I gazed at too long, thinking what-if?
Reading the story of Grace and Matt felt like I lived my life once more-except I got the closure that I never did.
I think everyone has a “Grace” or a “Matt” from their past. That person you loved in a time that now feels like another life. Maybe the timing was wrong. Maybe you weren’t ready. But every now and then, something reminds you of them, and your heart tightens with that silent ache.
This book brought me back to that feeling. The moment where everything feels like it’s slipping away and you don’t know how to stop it. It reminded me of love letters never sent, phone calls never made, and subway stations I stared at too long, wondering what if?
Reading Grace and Matt’s journey was like living mine all over again—only this time, I got the closure I never had.
The prose of Carlino is deceitfully straightforward. She does not go too far with flowery language. Rather, she writes in this earthbound, direct voice that even the most insignificant moments seem to be profound. A glance. A whisper. The manner that Grace hums when she is jittery. It is such small details that bring the story to life.
She is also a great master of the two-timeline plot. You literally get lost in their youthful, reckless college love when she brings you back to the present older, but still wiser, and still hurting. The changes are easy and the suspense grows, as each chapter goes by.
Time. Regret. Second chances. Fate.
It is these themes that reverberate in each page. However, most importantly, Before We Were Strangers is a story of timing. The way it can construct you or destroy you. How the right love at a wrong time can be like a curse. And how you can be given one more chance, just one more chance, by the universe.
The other theme that touched me so much was the silence. Grace and Matt did not say so much in the course of 15 years. But when they are finally reunited, there is this unwritten agreement between them that seems like they were waiting all this time- their souls were waiting.
Should I Recommend It? Without hesitation—yes
And it you have loved someone and lost them to time, to distance, to life, this book will enter your heart and wondrously stay there. It is not only a romance, it is a memory. One you can touch, smell and hold even after the last page.
Before We Were Strangers is not noisy. It does not beg your attention. It speaks to you--it murmurs to you--it speaks like some sweet old tune playing in the background of your loveliest memory. And the next thing you know you are hooked. You are taken to your first love, your first goodbye, and perhaps, just a second chance.
The last four images was gotten from web:
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