I was almost speechless with the anger that bubbled inside of me while reading this book. How did I come across something that felt more like juvenile literature than a grown-up thriller? The overuse of em-dashes, the protagonist’s constant reminder that he wants to be with his family, his endless over-analysis of events, all felt repetitive. Worst of all was the lack of “show, don’t tell.” It seemed the author didn’t trust my imagination. Why paint the picture for me when I can do the painting myself?
Synopsis (some spoilers)
Ben is worn out after a long day at work and just wants to go home to his family. On a Thursday evening, he’s stuck in traffic when an explosion flips his truck, leaving him unconscious. He survives and wakes to find the freeway ablaze. To escape, he’s forced to choose between staying on the burning road or heading into a nearby forest.
In the woods, things get worse. Ben encounters armed strangers holding people hostage. As he tries to figure out what’s going on, he realizes that danger lurks all around, and that nothing is as simple as it seemed. He is neither a soldier nor a spy but just a regular man thrust into an impossible scenario. With every step, he struggles not only to survive but to protect his wife and children.
I was bothered throughout my reading of this book because I expected deeper, more developed characters. Even if the plot couldn’t be made more complex, the characters could at least feel real. Instead, Ben sometimes feels like he doesn’t know whether he’s telling the story or living it in the moment.
Rachel, his wife, is especially flat. She lives rent-free in Ben’s head throughout most of the novel, yet contributes almost nothing. Right when I hoped she’d do something meaningful, she dies abruptly and without emotional buildup, leaving me frustrated.
Other supporting characters felt like mere pawns. They exist just to push Ben forward, to give him someone to save or someone to kill because it was evident that most of the people who came in contact with him didn’t make it to the end of the novel.
Also, making Ben “plus-sized” felt like a cheap way to try to elicit sympathy while he suffers through the ordeal. Maybe if the novel had done more with that detail(shown rather than told), it might have added something. But as it is, it falls flat for me.
The structure is zigzaggy, with action rising and falling unpredictably. Moments that seem like climax are diluted by slow passages, leaving a hollow feeling rather than impact.
It pains me but there are a few things that work here and if the author really paid attention, working closely with them, this would have turned out to be an exceptional thriller.
Now what and what works?
The premise is strong. At least the ordinary man, extraordinary disaster, high stakes involving family and home, promises tension, suspense and moral weight.
The setting alternates between fiery catastrophe and the eerie forest, which was vivid and atmospheric. There are glimpses of tension, uncertainty and survival instincts.
Some pacing works, some! But the only one I can remember right now is the beginning. The inciting incident (explosion, being thrown off the road) had me gripped but unfortunately, that cold grip it had on me became warm and I do not need such warmth when dealing with a thriller. I wish the build-up and follow-through were handled with more consistency.
Like I aforementioned, the book would have stood out with better character development, especially for secondary characters. Let them act, not just react or exist to be rescued or mourned.
Use more “show, not tell.” Give sensory details, allow readers to see Ben’s fear, Rachel’s personality, rather than these characters declaring how they feel.
Also, the author didn’t think to trim redundancy by avoiding repeating thoughts or reminders about family so many times in the text. I mean let the implications build without stating them in every chapter ma’am!
Also, when the story is leading up to something big, she should have let it deliver instead of under-cutting the suspense with filler or digressions.
I’m exhausted. Who even edited this work?