I am not sure if I understood this correctly, but I don't understand why an atheist would be bothered or in any case allow their kids to participate of an academic ceremony that may turn religious at some point (here in venezuela it is a tradition that there is a thanksgiving mass before any graduation, from kindergarden to college).

If that was a tradition or was expected to happen, I think that the easier way out was just not to attend the damn ceremony.

Then, there is the whole "legal fees" issue. I will never understand why lawyers have to be so expensive in the States. I was watching recently Marriage Story and besides the plot, which for a divorcee is quite painful because it makes you relive all the drama of your own story, I was about to stop watching the movie because I just could not bear the all the legal technicalities and unfair crap. It was very annoying. Why would anyone in their right mind want to go through all that kind of shit, having the option of just opting out a legal battle out of which you'll barely get money to pay the lawyers?

I took the decision of not participating in any religious ceremony ever again in a country were attending church for a social gathering is the most normal thing in the world. I did not even enter church when my father died; and yet, after that, due to social pressure on some ocassions, I have had to enter the temple, say to support my daughter who is singing in the choir. I just listen to my daughter and forget about the rest. My mind is already set. I don't feel threatened by a religious ceremony. I respect it and/or ignore it when I need to.