I really love learning languages!
I try to learn some basic words and phrases, like numbers and food and stuff, in every country that I travel, because it's fun and it connects me a bit more to the people and the culture, that I'm exploring (and I'm pretty sure, that in Morocco I also got better prices at the markets because of that ^^).
So in the last two years I've learned how to say "Hello" and "Thank you" in Portuguese, Spanish, Moroccan Arabic, Montenegrin and Bulgarian ^^
But I've forgot most of it again, as soon as I've left the country. But I don't mind, it's all there in my head, so I'm pretty sure, I could reactivate it. Also I had a lot of fun learning it :-)
But the one language, I've really set my mind on learning especially during the last year, was English. And I'm still at it, learning new things every day.
Learning a language is such a fascinating process.
It was amazing to watch my two nieces learning to speak when they were little! How every time I saw them, they knew a bunch of new words or finally got that one grammar thing right.
They did it just by listening, by being spoken to by loved ones, by being surrounded by one particular language.
And I guess that's the fastest and most natural way of learning a foreign language, too.
But my journey learning English began with usual lessons at school when I was about 12 years old.
I still know how excited I was and how I really wanted to learn this. And I also did quite well actually :-)
So I had English lessons with a number of different teachers in my years at school until I graduaded. And I guess, I've learned a lot. Although my teachers weren't particularly great and no native English speakers, they've managed to give me the basics of the English language, I think.
But after school, I completly stopped using what I had learned. For years I didn't speak a word in English, except for maybe that one vistit to London for a few days.
The only thing that kept my English brain alive, was music, I guess. I'm a musician and a singer, and I always listened to a lot of English music and played and sang English songs.
And by translating the lyrics for being able to interpret a song, I also learned some new words and phrases.
But that's about all I did.
Then, 2019, eight years after graduation, I decided to go travelling. Backpacking for three months, all on my own, starting in Portugal, but with no fixed plans.
I don't really know why, but in preparation for that, I started studying Portuguese, a few month before the trip.
And the funny thing is, I didn't get to speak any Portuguese at all ^^
I've only spent three weeks in Southern Portugal, working on a farm, and somehow I only met German people. In the area, where I stayed, there's a huge community of German expats, and I didn't get to meet any Portuguese people.
The only situation, where I proudly used my Portuguese skills, was at a bus station, asking a guy working there for the bus stop I was looking for ^^
The two months after that I've spent in Spain and Morrocco, and, staying in hostels, I've met a lot of people from all over the world. And of course, everyone spoke English. So for the first time in my life, I really got to talk in English.
It was awesome! I watched my vocabulary grow immensly in a short period of time. And also that silly voice in my head, that told me better not to speak, because my language skills were not good enough, seemed to slowly loose its confidence.
But I also noticed the limits of my abilities.
In Morocco I met an American guy at a hostel, another traveller. We had similar plans, and so we ended up travelling together for about three weeks. We even hired a car together, for crossing the Atlas Mountains to reach the desert.
So we've spent a lot of time together and became good friends.
And at that point, being able to make small talk wasn't enough for me anymore. I often was frustrated, because my vocabulary didn't seem good enough for deeper conversations, which of course come up, when you sit in a car together for several hours a day.
I just felt, that I couldn't express myself, my personality, as good as I wanted to. Especially when it came to humour.
In my own language, I want to believe, I'm quite a funny person ^^ And it was so hard for me to not being able to make a joke or a funny comment on something, when I had one on my mind!
I thought, the people that I meet can never get to know the whole Me, only that part of me, that I'm able to express in English. And that often frustrated me a lot.
So when I came back from the journey, after three months, I felt a huge motivation to improve my English skills!
So I started surrounding myself with that language.
I read books in English, watched movies and videos in English, listened to audio books, sometimes several times in a row and each time, I understood a bit more.
Then last summer in Montenegro, my man and me started watching Star Trek - The next Generation.
It sure wasn't easy at first, I often had to ask him for certain words, I didn't understand, and I got tired after a short while (it can be quite exhausting, to watch something and understand only half of it ^^).
But I totally got hooked, so I really wanted to watch on!
And that helped a lot! I felt my English brain soak up all the words, pronounciation and speech melody, and with every episode it got easier for me to follow and I got more relaxed.
At about the same time I took another great step forward by starting reading and writing here on Hive :-)
I still know how hard it was for me the first few weeks. I needed hours to finish just a short post, had to look up a lot of words. And I would let my man read over my posts before publishing, because I heard that silly voice again, that told me, my language skills were not good enough for sharing my writings with the world.
But it got a lot easier by the time, and now, after half a year of writing posts regularly it feels more and more natural. Of course, I have to look up a few words still, and my writing is not perfect at all, but the important thing is, that I'm not that afraid anymore, that writing perfect sentences with perfect grammar and vocabulary isn't that important anymore.
I just want to express what I've got on my mind and be understood :-)
I don't know, maybe it's a German thing, to always be a little too perfectionist ^^
I always envied the people in Morocco for example, who just speak, no matter how little their vocabulary. They don't seem to be afraid or insecure at all!
And it's so much better to dare to speak, instead of keeping quite, because I'm worried about my syntax!
Well, speaking is the one big thing that's left for me on my journey learning English. I'm able to understand pretty much everything now, listening to people, and I'm able to write decently, expressing my thoughts and feelings.
But actually, I didn't get to speak much. Although I'm travelling in foreign countries for a year now, I didn't get to meet that many people, because of the weird world situation.
We have a few acquaintances here in the Bulgarian valley, mostly British expats, but we only see them maybe once a month for a few hours, and that's usually not enough time to get over that blockade of insecurity in my head (although a glass of wine helps sometimes ^^).
I really would love to spend a time in an English speaking country or community, to practice my skills. I think, only a few weeks would do. Because I know I can do it, and I've learned and improved a lot.
And I'm sure, that silly voice in my head would go away, if I would just be too busy talking that to listen to it ^^
Well, that's my exciting journey so far! And it's still going on. It's always been one of my goals in life to be able to speak one foreign language fluently and and without fear, and it seems, as if that language will be English.
And I'm almost there! :-)
all images drawn by me
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