In Akwa Ibom State where I come from, the first step to getting married is to be taken or married traditionally and that means;
The man goes to know the house or family of the lady or woman he proposed to. Although before they both decided or accepted to get married to each other, they might have seen or known there both parents since it is a traditional norm, the groom has to go back, not alone this time but with his family which includes his both parents and one of his extended uncles to see the proposed girl parents as well as know her home officially.
Before the man decides to do this, he informs his parents about his intentions to get married to the particular girl and how he is willing to see her parents and get to know her family. His father then informs his own family about his son's intentions to settle down.
The date is fixed and the man in question informs his fiance who then goes to inform her parents about her fiancee's intention with his family to come to see them.
The girl's father also goes to inform his family who then sends one or two persons from their family to come to witness the occasion and get back to them on how it went. The reply is sent back to the man's family informing him that her family is ready to receive them. If the date isn't favorable, they also can give him a date to come with his family.
The date is fixed and on that day, the man comes with his family to see the girl's family. The girl's family welcomes the man's family and they share pleasantries before the main occasion begins.
The father of the girl starts the discussion asking them the reason for their visits once more to be sure they know exactly what they are doing, the father of the man replies the question before the man is asked which of the girl he came for.
The man stands up and tells them the lady that brought him here and after everything is done, a date is fixed between the girl's family for the man's family to come back.
The man goes back with his family while the girl's father goes back to meet his family for the bride price list and most times, during that period, the amendment is done in the list either adding up or decreased.
The man's family comes back this time and this time, food is cooked to welcome the man's family for coming back for the next stage of the traditional marriage. He comes back this time not just with his parent and the head of their family but few people more are likely to follow him.
They settle down exchange pleasantries, eat, and discussion about their reasons for coming begins. The bride's price is given to his family and then negotiations begin.
The family of the groom goes through the list and they tick what they won't pay or how they would pay some of them and bring it to the notice of the girl's family.
Both families put their heads together and come up with an agreement on what would be needed, what they can change, what they would forgo, and what can not be overlooked.
This is the negotiation period and during this period, both families get to interact and talk together for the betterment and way forward of their both children. The agreement is made and the man leaves with his parents.
This time around, the date isn't fixed because they await the man to come and pay the bride price and give to them the necessary things they would be needing in the list.
After he is able to provide for them all the necessary things, the family once again settles down to fix the traditional marriage date to favor themselves.
During this period, wedding cards are bought, decorated, and distributed to individuals for the upcoming event, clothes are bought and the necessary items they would be needing for the occasion are bought as well.
It is during this period that the man and woman are officially shown to the world that they paid and have done or undergone the necessary things traditionally and both families have decided to come together because of them.
Before the proper occasion begins, the family of the groom gets to the event ground early enough to partake in eating the food cooked by the bride's family special for them and after they are done, the traditional marriage proper begins.
The ushers start sharing the food immediately with people.
The man is welcome to the event with a danceable song as he dances in with his friends while greeting those that came to grace his occasion to his seat which was decorated specially for him and his bride in a traditional way.
After that, the bride is also welcomed in with a danceable song to her seat and she does the same thing but before she goes to her seat, she is stopped by the MC who beckons on people to come bless her life financially.
When that is done, she dances to her seat while her husband stands up to welcome her.
Then they both walk hand in hand to meet their both parents for blessings and after the blessings from both parents, the church and the people who came to witness this stands up and prays for them.
From then on, they are announced traditionally as husband and wife.
Then the shot session begins as both couples begin to take their official couple photo in their traditional attire.
Gifts are presented by the bride's family to the lady and to her groom which is another important thing in this setting. The bride's family always presents to their son-in-law and to their daughter gifts which it is believed that she would use to start her new home.
Both couples leave the venue hand in hand as they pack the gifts given to them by the bride family (mother) to their new home.
This shows that the lady is officially taken traditionally and awaits the church blessings.
Yesterday was an amazing day for this both announce officially to the world that they are taken and not in the labor market anymore😅😅😅.
It was an interesting day as I witnessed the event with my friends.
Note, not all traditional marriage reaches this stage as I have heard so many stories of parents who did not accept the girl or the boy because of the Local Government Area where he hails from or some other things.
If the couples are strong, they can intercede or perhaps call in a third party to come and beg their parents but if they are not, they walk away not reaching this stage. There is happiness in the air and their hearts when they finally get to this stage which means they are certified and good to go.
Thank you for taking out time to read through my blog, I appreciate it.
Love you all😘😘😘