I remember when the successful people were the ones who hid the quirky or unusual parts of their personality in order to be taken seriously.
No one wanted anyone to find out that they were gay or that they watched anime or that they secretly listened to whatever music was considered uncool among their friends. They didn’t want people to find out about their unusual beliefs or strange habits. They wanted to fit in because if they didn’t, they might become an outcast.
It seems like what is socially acceptable became so exclusive though, that eventually no one felt safe and it’s been breaking down for a while now. Not only that, advertising and a desire to stay hip have led every single subculture and idea to be appropriated by the market.
Now being weird and different is the cool thing to do. While I don't think we should care much what's cool and what's not, this is probably a good thing. What was once shameful is now acceptable. While there are downsides to this, in a sense, we’ve been liberated.
Society is no longer this cohesive place where everyone has the same concept of right and wrong. You aren’t just free to have your own ideas, you can actually become more successful that way. It only feels like you have to fit in, the people who are really killing it are all just doing it their own way.
That may have always been the case, but now we can see into everything through the internet, we can realize how the façade of perfection was always bullshit.
We are imperfect creatures and that is beautiful. Perfection is boring and stressful.
The world is complicated and nuanced and in order to find out what is best for us, we need to experiment.
That doesn’t mean there isn’t still pressure to conform, but a lot of that is just that same old fear of being cast out. In some countries, it’s the older generation trying to make life difficult for younger people who don’t conform. In other places, we are pit against each other in order to instill fear because fear is easier to control and more predictable.
Still, I think most of us KNOW that we will embraced for being who we are, if not by the people around us, then at least by some random people out there who are similar to us in some way. We can find our soul tribe online or in a niche community somewhere.
There is still a fear of not fitting into ideas that we had about ourselves and the pressure of parents ideas that they’ve cling onto for us. “I wanted to have kids by the time I was 28” “I don’t want people to stare at me” “——- is wrong, I will never do it.”
It’s good to keep some kind of standard, to stick with things that feel right and stay away from the things that don’t. But not all temptation is evil, sometimes it is our inner nature calling.
Our inner nature always finds win/win situations. It’s the voice that let’s us know that our partner is right for us, no matter what our parents say. It’s the voice of curiosity that is not just hungry for a distraction but truly wants to understand the world. It is the voice that pushes us to find a sustainable way to pursue our dreams regardless of whether or not our parents or friends take seriously, whether that’s a comedian, a streamer, a freelancer or a high school teacher.
It’s the voice the tells us to speak our truth, not in opposition to those who disagree with it, but in support of others like ourselves and to build understanding with those who are listening.
Marketing your work is a bitch no matter what you do. Everyone is trying to be an online personality now. The regular jobs are disappearing and so more and more of us rely on creating content or something of that nature. Photography, writing, making videos, music, painting, social commentary, storytelling, game design， unqualified experts…these are the jobs of the future.
It’s hard to get seen and heard when everyone has a book or an Etsy store. The best way to do it is to be as utterly YOU as you can be. Don’t worry about reaching the masses, nothing that reached the masses ever started that way... nothing good or sustainable anyway. Constantly look to improve yourself and become more of the you that you wish to inside, and it will come together eventually. Challenge yourself and try new things.
Do it for the joy of it. If you can’t afford to then do something else to stay afloat as you experiment with the things you enjoy most and find your people. You will find a way eventually.
The word is changing. It looks scary as fuck on the surface but it’s full of opportunities. Change brings opportunity.
I’m still trying to figure it out myself. The concept of a self is tricky because when we really get down to it, it’s incredibly fluid, and once we erase our biases, we are free to become whatever we want. It’s a scary thought for some but I embrace it. I trust that inner compass.
I have a new project that’s coming, I’ve been hinting at it for almost a year now but it’s almost ready now. It will fit right into Cross Culture and into this topic. It will be a few more weeks until it’s out for you to enjoy, and I’m quite confident it’s going to be very popular on Hive.
In the meantime, I’ve just finished my second novella, Confessions of the Damaged 1.2. It’s about a homeless man who speaks to trees, searching for insight while observing the world around himself and digging into his past to untangle and redefine his experiences.
If you haven’t read it, check out Confessions of the Damaged 1.1 and if you have you can pick up Confessions of the Damaged 1.2 😆.
