This post is a first response to 's invitation to participate in the
community initiative “Píldoras para la depresión" / "Pills for depression”. Being this sequence of photos, taken by a shity photographer, a small reflection of a trip to Catalonia in September 2024.
Those days I was testing the camera of my new cell phone with the sole purpose of getting to know my new companion. Among these tests are these photos.
They were not only tests, they were/are also a reflection on urban life and its relationship with those open spaces that surround every big city. Fields dotted with multiple infrastructures that nourish urban spaces with life.
While that was the rule of these images, the invitation of and her publication give a new meaning to this series of photographs.
is a very special being, with a great sensitivity that she shows in each publication, both in her texts and in the designs she creates. A being that has given a new value to these images. Thank you for remembering me.
These photographs that I show today, in a certain order, a mixture of grays and faint colors, reflect part of a journey, mine. A journey whose last station, no doubt, is to die. Don't worry, I'm not melancholic, I'm just a realist.
A road full of crossroads that demand, like the sphinx, the right answers to continue avoiding the inevitable, because dying is not only something physical.
In the photographs we can recreate ourselves in the emptiness, in the nothingness, in the absence of color, or feel the life that dwells in them. A network of warehouses, roads, highways, railways, traveled by thousands of workers who transport the energy that gives breath to every big city.
Once we decide what to see, whether emptiness or life, it is no less important to decide from where we observe it. Most of these images show us landscapes seen through glass. A screen that, although it provides security, invites us to live life as spectators. A life without pain, but without meaning, without enjoyment.
I have spent years traveling sheltered by that glass wall. Bad experiences made me see the other always as a danger. Perpetual refuge has only one drawback. The lonely heart dries up without caresses, hugs, kisses, in the same way that the tree dries up in the desert.
In my more than five decades of existence I have been getting on and off the train, and my fears have been fading as I have been valuing myself more. It is true, the gaze of the other can kill, but only if our life depends on it.
Now, I appreciate the applause when I receive it and it is deserved, everyone likes a caress. If I don't receive them and I deserve them, I have no problem with applauding myself. I am my biggest critic and my biggest fan.
It is not so long ago that I got off the train, and I must say that on more than one occasion I have been tempted to go back to protecting myself behind the glass. At this moment, I thank all the abusers I have encountered along the way for their presence. They have helped me to become who I am now.
At the end of this series of captured moments, when the light escapes, the right answer is to enjoy the sunset. Something that is only possible with the certainty that tomorrow there will be a new day. Death is not the end, it is only more life.
All images are taken on the same day. The first ones in Catalonia, the last ones are from Madrid, near the Atocha train station.
Thank you for joining me.
Banner edited with Canva pro and cropped with ezgif.com.
Avatar created with IA Ideogram.
Translated into English from my native language Spanish with DeepL.
All photographs are my property.