What Happens When We Disappear?
It's a little funny that the question Abundance Tribe chose for this week came at this point. It is, because this is the week I've been battling with myself about a lot of things. Should I do this? Do I do it this way? What would happen if I ignore? What if I don't? Will I harm myself and mental health later by looking away? Will I regret doing it?
I'm this person who loves peace. Quiet is one things I cherish so much, be it people or environment. I'm also a very private person. But this past week, I pushed myself very hard. I believed I was in a good enough place to venture out of my comfort zone. And I did. The outcome? Beautiful. Is it taking a toll on my mental health? Definitely! The moments I had this past week, I wouldn't want to reverse. At the same time, I'm trying to get myself to stay afloat without falling in first. It's so easy to fall in.
To answer the question; how do I keep myself grounded? I disappear.
Less contact from people has always helped me think and get back to doing the things I love. I however, discovered that I loved it a little too much that it's always difficult for me to pull myself out. In as much as l love the comfort and peace it brings me, I also need the outside world from time to time to function. The struggle is finding a balance. I'm yet to get there.
If this question had come this time last year, I probably would have said that I keep grounded by staying permanently away from everything. I was in so much pain at the time that I didn't even realise how much I needed a break from myself. The thought of the outside world seemed like a punishment. I wanted nothing to do with anyone and I didn't even realise I was hurting those who loved me in the process. Looking back, it was so horrible. But look at me now. Not a place I would want to go back to or wish anyone to be in.
I'm currently trying to keep grounded; one of the many times. I've also disappeared but still reachable. It has been a constant battle which I'm winning. It feels like learning a new lifestyle. It isn't very easy when you're trying to change and relearn the life you've known and lived by for years. It's like a baby learning new steps. Acceptance is one thing, but acting on it is a completely different ball game. Am I happy? Sure! That's the most important thing.
A friend recently told me that I have a way of navigating towards the things I want. It doesn't matter how much time it takes me, I would still get there. And she was right. And I believe staying grounded and true to myself has helped. The little things they say makes the most difference.
Away from the mental stuff (which comes first for me then spreads), covid has contributed to an immense shift and growth. Almost everyone I know has become more responsible. For me, I pay more attention to the things I feed myself. Food is one thing, mainstream media is another. I grew up so much and I love that I did. The lockdown didn't really take a lot from me, like most people, because I'm a indoor person. I just did what I knew how to do best – get lost within myself. But I also learned that I needed to be there more for the people I care about. Anything can happen at any time.
This has been my methods. Why don't you tell me yours?
